Yesterday... All the memories start to come back. That creep that touched me, Niall seeing a little too much of my body... I flinch thinking about it. "Thanks." I give him a weak smile. He sits down next to me on the bed and hands me the cup. "Niall's downstairs, he's worried about you. Should I bring him up?" He asks. I really need Niall right now. "Yeah." I simply say. "Thank you for did yesterday." I add. He nods and leaves.
It's been a few days since I got assaulted. I hate that word, it sounds like I've been attacked. I have been, but I don't like being a victim.
Since that day I haven't talked to Zayn much. He came over one day to bring me my phone, bag and coat. He didn't stay long, he had to go. I texted him a couple of times afterwards, but I didn't mention what happened yet. It didn't feel right to do it over the phone and I didn't have the courage to ask if he'd come over again either. Today, though, he texted me asking if he could take me somewhere. I haven't responded yet, I'm about to. I'm just not quite sure what to text. Something casual, but not too casual as if I'm not interested in meeting him. Also, should I mention that he left me behind the last time? Maybe to let him know he shouldn't do it again. I probably should. I don't want to be a person people can push over whenever they feel like it.
So many hints to put into a text, he probably won't even notice it. No more thinking, just texting.
Hey, I'd like to meet up :) xx
This is most definitely not my best text hinting we're not good and I haven't forgiven him yet. I won't be afraid to talk to him about how I feel. I will do it.
My phone rings, it's Sean from the flower shop. I kind of forgot about him after everything that happened.
Only after he hung up I realise he didn't sound as cheery as usual. Maybe he's having a bad day. Sounds logical since the girl who worked on the days I didn't quit and I have to cover all her shifts.
When it's finally evening and I feel good because I survived this lonely day, I'm waiting for Zayn to pick me up. My mum is making quite the progress, she made us dinner tonight. They were peanutbutter sandwiches but it still counts. She's still not speaking, though. I should get her checked out by a psychologist, but I really don't have the money right now.
Zayn knocks on the door and I open it, except when it's open I see a blonde standing there, not Zayn. It's Niall.
"Hey Gabs, I'm sorry, I had to see you. Do you mind if I come in? We need to talk. Actually I want to tell you something." He seems so nervous, I feel bad for him. "Yeah sure, come in. You're always welcome here Niall."
We are sitting on the couch. He asks me how I'm doing, trying to avoid talking about the night. It's kind of awkward. "S..So what do you think about Greg?" He asks and he suddenly is interested in his nails. I can't believe he just asked me this. Is he wondering if I like him? If that's the case, then no. "Um, I'm not sure what you mean? He did save me the other night when.. you know." He looks up in my eyes almost looking relieved. "Oh okay, but do you um, like him?" I can't believe he really went there. "Yes I do, as a brother of someone I'm close with." I say ro reassure him there's nothing going on. Niall is nervously playing with the strings of his hoodie. "I um, I need to tell you something. I, um, I.. I don't know how to say this." I wish he would just tell me, I feel so bad for him. "It's okay Niall, just tell me." He looks at me and nods. "GabbiIknowit'swrongbutIreallylikeyouandIcan'thelpit." A lot of words were coming out of his mouth at a fast pace. I think I heard what he said but I don't understand. Niall is my friend, nothing more. Or is he? No, I have Zayn. I lay my hand on his hand and look into his eyes to try to reject him gently. In this moment something happened I never would've expected. He leans in and kisses me, that's not even the most shocking part. The most shocking to me is that I didn't stop him. Hell, I am kissing him back. As soon as I realise what I'm doing, I pull away. What have I done?!