"My name is Blue Lennon. I am 18 years old. I am in love with Harry Styles. My mother is dead, but my father Stephen isn't. My best friends are Kira, Eddie and Charly. I was kidnapped by Drew because he forces Harry to work for his drug network and I tried to free Harry. I must not let him win over me."
I lost count of the amount of times I said these words out loud, this silent promise to myself to keep my mental health. To stay true to myself.
So far, I still am. Though it is getting harder, day by day. The light is still off, I am bathed in absolute blackness every single moment of the day and night. Except for when they take me to their treatment room, as they call me. In there, I get to see the light. But I'd much rather stay in darkness forever if it would save me from having to face the tortures in that room. It seems like Drews fantasy is endless, every single time he comes up with new ways to torture me, small and seamingly meaningless things but they're oh so effective. They're trying to break me, and they're not giving up. But neither am I. I am still me, I'm still holding on though I'm getting weaker day by day. The lack of food and sunlight, the deafening silence in my room, the lack of exercise, the lack of freedom - it's all taking its toll. But I know that if I give up, they'll do this to Harry. And just the thought of Harry in this dark room, with no light and no hope, is enough to keep me going. I have to stay strong. I have to believe that Harry is out there, looking for me. He will find me, he has to. I just hope he hurries up and finds me before I crash completely.
I still haven't given up on my little workout programme but of course it's not enough to keep me fit. In the limited space of this room there's only so much you can do and with nothing but dry bread to feed me, I know that my body is slowly but steadily giving up. I'm getting weaker, so if Harry doesn't manage to find me, I'll have to find my own way out of this place. There has to be some way. And I'll have to find this way, soon, before I get too weak to actually follow through with my plan. This pressure, the ticking time bomb that is my body, has been resting heavily on my shoulders every single moment, it's always there in the back of my mind, haunting me.
So in preparation for my escape plan I've been putting on an act for Drew and his bodyguards, I've been playing weak lately, making them think that I'm barely able to walk on my own. At first I wasn't sure if they were buying it but then they reduced my security from two guards down to one. I couldn't believe my eyes when one morning, there was only one giant standing in front of my door instead of two, and I knew that my game was working. It gave me new hope, a flash of adrenaline so I kept going, determined to keep this little act up until my moment comes.
"C'mon kid." The door opens without a single sound, the only indicator is the soft light flooding into the room, blinding me. Blinking I gaze up at the man standing in front of me, towering over me like a dark shadow. Shit, is it time again? Time for another one of Drews sessions?
I scramble to my feet, nearly tripping over the seam of my once skinny jeans that now hang loosely around my legs.
"Do I need to carry you princess?" The guard asks, his voice dripping with irony and I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. I have to remember that I need to keep my act up.
"Not now. Maybe when I come back though..." I mumble, making sure to keep my voice as low and weak as possible.
"Cmon then." Holding out his hand he grabs my arm, his strong fingers wrapping entirely around my thin wrist. Wait. No handcuffs this time? Oh god. Oh my god. Could this be it? Could this be my chance? Because there's no way in hell that I'll get out of this place with handcuffs on, I know that for sure. My eyes flicker down to my wrists where angry red welts are still visible from where the cuffs usually dig into my skin. No handcuffs. I can't believe it. Is this just one of Drews tricks? Or could he really be that stupid, that careless?
Adrenaline rushes through me, hitting me like a tidal wave and giving me energy that I haven't had for weeks, making my heart pound madly in my ribcage. With a frown I notice that my entire body starts shaking, the adrenaline, the excitement, the fear...it's all too much for a body that's barely strong enough to hold itself upright.
"Scared, hm?" the guard smirks, pointing down at my shaking hands and I swallow harshly. Even after weeks of being here I still don't know anyone's name, apart from some snarky comments here and there nobody is allowed to speak to me - apart from Drew of course. But even if Drew and I were the last people on this planet I'd much rather die in silence than hear a single word out of his disgusting mouth. That fucker.
"You have every right to be. Drew has a very nice surprise planned for you today." Surprise? Shit. Every time I go into that room Drew awaits me with that signature smirk on his face and a new way to torture me. I bet he has a book called '1001 ways to torture innocent people because I'm a sick bastard and like it' somewhere.
The guard places his hand on the small of my back, guiding me forwards and I flinch when his hand lands on one of the larger wounds drew inflicted on me during our last 'session', when he started of by telling me that his sister was very keen on horseback riding. At first I was confused, but then he produced the long thin whip from a drawer...