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Pen Your Pride

Blue's POV

Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.

Make it stop. It doesn't stop. When will it ever stop?
I don't know where the water is coming from. All I know is that it's there. Or maybe it isn't? Maybe it's just a record that keeps playing? I don't know. But I know that it doesn't stop. It hasn't stopped ever since I came here. Will it ever stop? Please make it stop.
I sigh and run my hands through my hair, it feels greasy. It hasn't been washed for too long. How long? Again, I don't know. There's no clock in here. And no window that would allow me to tell whether it's night or day. It's just a plain room. Four plain white walls, one with a plain white door - always locked. A plain white ceiling. A plain white floor. No furniture. Brutally illuminated by bright fluorescent light. It doesn't ever get turned off, not once have I been in darkness since I came here. The only way for me to escape this, this nothingness, is when I sleep. I've slept 4 times since I came here but I don't know if I kept my natural sleeping schedule up, I might have been here for longer than 4 days. Maybe 5 or 6. Maybe just 2. I don't know.
I don't know what happened ever since they pressed that cloth to my mouth and shoved me into the van. I was out cold, there's no way of knowing where they brought me or how long I've been unconscious. For all I know I could be on a different continent. And it's slowly starting to take it's tall, the 'not knowing'. All these questions, the 'where am I's and the 'how long have I been here's, they're slowly driving me insane. But I refuse to let these fuckers get the best of me.
Drew said he'd fuck me up, he said he wanted to break me. I'd like to see him try. He took me away from everything that mattered, took me away from Harry but he won't break me. I won't let him have that satisfaction.
Harry.
Oh Harry. I wonder where he is. Is he in a room like this too? Maybe just next door? Drew said he wouldn't hurt him. I hope he keeps his word. I have to believe that Harry is safe and unharmed, if I let myself imagine Harry in a situation like this for just one second...that's what would really drive me insane. I have to stop this. He is fine. He has to be. As long as he is, I am too.
Shaking my head to get rid of these thoughts I get up and stretch, preparing for my little workout that I started doing. Nothing big, just a few push-ups, a bit of running (even though it's almost impossible since the room is only 5 steps long), things like that. I have to stay fit, have to be prepared for when my chance comes. I can't let myself get weak. Though I can already see the effect this has on my body; I lost a lot of weight already, my once tight jeans are starling to get too loose around my hips and thighs. Drew doesn't give me enough food. I only get two slices of bread and a cup of water every now and then, it happened 9 times so far. 9 times that the door opened for a split second and a bucket was thrown into the room, a bucket containing a very small plastic bottle with water and the bread. I later discovered that the bucket is my only chance for release, I have to pee in it too. Then the voice came, a loud, mechanic voice instructing me to put the bucket back in front of the door. I refused the first time, resulting in me not getting new supplies until I finally put the bucket back in front of the door. Same procedure, the door opened for a second, an arm reached in to retrieve the bucket, the door closed. I tried to wait next to the door the next time, hoping that maybe if I could grab the arm or block the door I could escape. But they again didn't open the door until I went back to my place against the opposite wall. That's how I know they have me monitored. The thought is unsettling, to say the least.

Drip.
Drip.
Drip.

Oh, please make it stop. Please.
I sigh deeply and sink down against the wall, my body automatically curling up in the one position I've been sitting in ever since I arrived here, knees pulled up to my chest, watching the door. I can't ever let my guard down. I probably only have once chance. One fucking chance to get out of this place, I can't miss that. I don't know what they are going to do with me. Will they kill me? They can't keep me here for the rest of my life can they? And it's not very likely that they're going to set me free just like that. I shiver involuntarily. No, they won't set me free. Thinking about it I'm very certain that I'd rather die than be locked up forever. Because I know that if they keep me here forever I'll slowly lose my mind, I'll go insane and there's nothing that I'm more afraid of than losing control over my body, my mind. Sitting up I start my mantra, the words that I repeat over and over again, trying to make sure that I won't forget them.
"My name is Blue Lennon. I am 18 years old. I am in love with Harry Styles. My mother is dead, but my father Stephen isn't. My best friends are Kira, Eddie and Charly. I was kidnapped by Drew because he forces Harry to work for his drug network and I tried to free Harry. I must not let him win over me."

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