January 7, 2015

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Dear Shay,
I promise I'm trying and I've been doing good. I have a space in my chest and I'm broken now but nothing can change that, we're all broken. My Christmas was celebrated with you on my mind. What presents would you have gotten? Would you have come back from med school and visit? I guess I'll never know. New Years came in a flash and soon they were counting down. All through out this I was sulking in a corner but on the inside I was truly grateful the years was coming to an end. I couldn't bare thinking of all the plans for 2014 that were burned. I'm reminded by the death anniversary that hangs above my head. Shay I think what hurts the most is that you weren't here for my birthday this year. January 6 the day you first saw me and I saw you. The day when you and I started a bond that last through all of your years here on earth. I miss you and I wish you could sing to me. I wish we could make art together. I wish so many things could happen but you're not coming back. I still don't understand and I still can't accept that. Your here with me, in your words I read and your videos I see over and over. You'll always be here with me. always.

Forever.
Tu Elisa

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