Eleven

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The first thing Dan noticed when he woke up the next morning was that he wasn't in his room.

The walls around him were white, not the faded tan of his room, and the blankets covering him are a lot heavier than his own.

There was sunlight filtering in through the open window in front of him. Dan sat up, running his fingers through his hair and trying to figure out where he is. He isn't at PJs because he's been there before, and-

-and now he remembers. He remembers what happened with PJ, at the club. And he remembered going to Phil for help. And they had sex.

Fuck, they had sex.

He must be at Phil's place then, it was really the only other option. He hadn't been here before, or at least, not in real life. And he was kind of disappointed to see that it was different than it was in his dream.

But that's not the problem. Right now, he needs to figure out what he's going to do about this whole situation. Everything is all kinds of messed up, and Dan is in the middle of it all. He's the one who started it, pursuing after Phil because of the dream even though he knew it might not work out.

And here he was now, with PJ cheating on him and Phil probably hating him.

Dan knows that last night wasn't supposed to happen. He was moving too fast, and all he wanted was for something to go his way. Phil didn't even like him, for god's sake, he probably only slept with him because he felt bad for him.

And it hurt so bad, knowing that this wasn't a valuable thing between them, that Dan had gone and fucked thing up like he always did.

There was a loud crash from somewhere outside of the room, jolting Dan from his morbid thoughts. He threw the cover off of himself, barely noticing he was in his underwear, to see what was happening. It took him a few tries to navigate the unfamiliar flat, until he reached the kitchen, where Phil was standing in the middle of the floor, surrounded by broken glass.

Phil looked up at him sheepishly, and Dan noticed he was half naked as well. "Sorry if I woke you." He said. "The bowl was wet, I just.... I dropped it." He bent down, starting to pick up the larger pieces of glass and Dan moved over to help him, careful not to slice his foot open.

They worked in silence, picking up the razor shards cautiously before throwing them into the trash, and then Phil got a broom and started sweeping up the smaller pieces.

It wasn't suppose to be like this. This was too casual, they were acting natural around each other, pretending that nothing had happened with them last night. They were avoiding the immediate problem and putting it off for later.

"Do you, uh need to be anywhere today?" Phil asked, pulling down two coffee mugs from the cabinet and setting them on the counter.

"No." Dan replied simply.

"Oh."

Dan shuffled nervously, realizing just how exposed he felt without any clothes on. He folded his arms across his chest and watched as Phil continued making them coffee.

"I was going to cook something, but I didn't know what you liked or anything." Phil said. He moved back towards Dan, handing him a steaming cup.

"I don't have any preferences, really." He said, taking a grateful sip of the hot liquid. He was very tired and very sore.

They stood in silence, not looking at each other, and Dan was going crazy. Were they just going to forget about it then? Dismiss the fact that they'd slept together, and act normal, like just friends. He didn't want that. He didn't know what he wanted but he didn't want this.

"Are we going to talk about it?" Dan asked, setting his cup down and looking at Phil expectantly. His heart was sort of racing, but he ignored it.

"About what?" Phil asked, and Dan could tell he was trying to play it off.

"About you fucking me in that bookstore and then taking me back to your place and fucking me some more?"

"Don't say it like that." Phil said.

"Well how do you want me to say it?" Dan asked. "We sure as hell didn't 'make love'."

"Dan." Phil said. "You need to understand that what happened last night, wasn't something that should have happened."

"I know that." He said, leaning against the wall. He felt like an idiot for wanting to cry, he knew this was gonna happen. "I just don't want you treating me like shit because of it."

"Why would I treat you any differently than before?" Phil asked, and Dan looked up at him. "Sure, we.... crossed a line. But I don't regret it or anything. I thought that- that you would hate me for it."

Dan stared at him for a moment, before bursting out laughing. Really, this whole situation was hilarious. Phil was looking at him like he was crazy.

"Sorry, sorry." He said, slightly out of breath. "Why would I hate you, Phil?"

"I-" Phil paused. "I thought you would regret it. "Cause you were only trying to forget about PJ."

"I don't care about PJ." Dan said. "Honestly, we weren't serious. I mean, yeah, it hurt that he cheated on me. But that's not why I kissed you."

"Then why did you?"

Dan thought for a moment, trying to decide whether to tell him the truth or not. "Cause I, kinda like you." he said, shrugging and looking down at the floor. It actually felt good, getting that off of his chest, and he felt a lot of stress just go away.

Phil was silent, and Dan wasn't too sure how he was reacting to his confession. He didn't think he'd be angry or anything, but he didn't know if Phil returned even a small amount of his feelings.

"Well." He finally said. "Guess it's my lucky day, then."

Dan looked up at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

Phil was smiling slightly, staring at Dan. "I kinda like you, too."

"Oh."

Well he definitely wasn't expecting that. This was such a big thing between the both of them, but it was a calm exchange in the middle of the kitchen at early in the morning. It was sort of surreal.

"So what do we do now?" Phil asked.

"I-I don't know." Dan said, biting his lip. "I guess we already, consummated our relationship."

Phil laughed, and Dan stared up at him, at the way his eyes squinted slightly and his tongue was poking out of his mouth. He was adorable.

"Is that what you want?" Phil said, looking a bit worried. "A relationship?"

Did he want that? He knew for sure that he had feelings for Phil, and he'd definitely thought about it. Now that it was actually happening, that Phil actually felt the same way, Dan wasn't too sure.

All he knew about Phil, this real life version of Phil, was what he'd learned in the last month during the late hours at the book shop. Was that enough for them to establish any sort of emotional bond? Let alone dating.

But he knew that this was probably a one time thing. If he did say no, that he didn't want to be in a relationship with Phil, he'd regret it for the longest time. He'd become too attached to just turn it all down now, when it was looking him in the face.

"I'd like that." Dan said. He reached out slowly, tangling his fingers with Phil's, staring down at their entwined hands.

"Are you sure you're okay, though?" Phil asked, and Dan was inappropriately happy that he was so worried. "What happened with PJ and all that..."

"I'll get over it." He said. "I'll have to talk to him."

Phil nodded, and his eyes turned slightly darker. Dan didn't know if it was because of PJ or the fact that Dan wanted to talk to him. He'd have to face it sooner or later.

But for now, it could wait.

In My Dreams // phanRead this story for FREE!