Do you ever listen to a song somewhere and it stays in your head for the rest of the day?
Well the lyrics of that song are every single conversation Melissa and I have ever had and the singer is off course the one and only Melissa Thomas, aka, my fucking English teacher. The problem is that it doesn't stay in my head for a day or two; it's been there for weeks.
Today she showed me that she might care. I mean she did noticed my hand, not even Emily noticed it and I know Em cares about me. Maybe I should give it another try, although I didn't want it to be forced, I want to be able to open up without hesitation, I want it to feel natural.
I was in the parking lot of the school about to go home when my phone rang and that number was too familiar to me.
"Hey granny!" I said, probably sounding like an eight year old.
"Bonjour Alexandra" She said. My British grandparents passed away a couple years ago and my French grandfather also passed when I was about 8. So Cece was all I had left. "Dear I have something important to tell you" Oh-oh.
"What is it Cece?"
"Chéri (darling) I am not going to be able to make it for your birthday" I felt like I couldn't breathe anymore. Did I hear that right? Did she say she wouldn't make it to my birthday? What the fuck?
"Pourquoi?! (Why?)" I blurted in French a little too loud but there wasn't anybody around, every student and teacher where in their homes until I saw one head turn towards me.
And I'm pretty sure she heard me.
"Eloise je suis désolée (I'm sorry)" My grandma said. I can't believe her. I could feel my eyes burn and when I saw Melissa's beautiful eyes focused on me from her car I felt like I needed to be strong. I don't want her to see me crying. Not yet. "They need me to be here in September." By they she meant the Orléanists, one of the three most important and powerful French royal families and my grandmother was part of it. That just pissed me off even more. They knew that it was my birthday and honestly I think they made some shit up to prevent my grandma to come visit me. It wouldn't surprise me if my mom had something to do with it.
I was more than pissed and now I didn't care if Melissa was staring at me and not moving her car being a fucking nosy bitch. Nothing matter anymore, I would turn nineteen and my grandmother wouldn't be there for me. In our family getting your period, getting married, having your first kid and turning nineteen was really important.
Don't ask me why though. I never cared, I never understood and never will. All I know is that they are a fucked up family and I'm happy I'm not a part of it anymore.
Alex let it go. No! We can't deal with this alone, and you can't keep this inside you so let it go!
Dealing with all this pain was too much to handle. There have been too many emotions in one day and I can't take it anymore. So I did the one thing I've been avoiding since I got here. I broke the shield that I've been building for so long. And I did it in front of the last person I would ever do that.
I started to cry.
My vision was all blurry. Tears were coming out of my eyes like they never have and I swear I heard the last bit of heart that I had break into a million pieces. I hate that family for taking away the people that love me.
Stopping my tears now was like trying to stop the rain with your hands. Impossible. Every single tear that got out of my now puffy red eyes had a memory inside of it. Painful memories of how my family kicked me out and denied me in front of everyone. And then I felt the biggest tear come out of my eye. The one that carried the worst memory of my existence and at that point I completely lost.
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Je t'aime (girlxgirl) (teacherxstudent)Romance
We both laughed. Man if only I knew what life had in store for me. "Do you ever think about the first time we met?" I asked. "All the time." She had her back towards me, but my arms were still wrapped around hers, so my head was resting in her right...