| torn up

~ chapter 7 ☁️

The next day I am a mess.

Literally, with dark circles underneath my eyes and messier, frizzier hair than normal from constantly running my hand though it- I probably resemble something from the walking dead right now. Not to mention the extreme  paranoia I feel all day is making me feel like a rain cloud is following me throughout school.

I arrive in the morning as late as I possibly can and from there I am the the first person to hurry out of the classroom each period when the bell rings. Luckily Alexander isn't in any of my classes today but I find myself searching through the faces of my classmates each period for the black haired boy. I hadn't really bothered to learn the names or faces of everyone in my classes and I am really regretting it now.

And even when I can't see him, my brain won't let me relax, it's like my body instantly goes on alert mode when any dark skinned, brown eyed boy looks my way. This is all despite me remembering his face clear as day, how could I not, it had been running through my mind all night along with a certain other's. And yet my brain still continues to run away with me, telling me I'd got it wrong and to get as far away as possible from any remotely similar boy who sits anywhere near me during the day.

To say I'm exhausted is an understatement and it isn't even lunch yet.

And I just know Asha and Piper are getting suspicious. How could they not be? They're my best friends, sometimes they can tell what I'm feeling even before I can myself.

When I show up at school with an oversized hoody on and refuse to take the hood off my head, they give me strange looks. When they see me distracted and eyeing everyone around me throughout the day like a wild animal, they ask me if I'm okay. And when our free period comes up, and I pass on hanging out with them in our usual spot in the field in favour of hiding in the library, they narrow their eyes at me and try and stop me. I can already tell they've had enough with my weird antics and are going to try and interrogate me so I quickly wave them a cheery goodbye and take off before they can even blink.

It seems lunch is the last straw.

I've already opted for the girls bathroom by now, I've chosen the old one on the top floor of the music building. I don't think much people know about this bathroom, No one ever really comes here unless they're taking music lessons downstairs so I know I'm probably going to be the only one here during lunch.

There's no way I would have set foot in the cafeteria. If I hadn't had seen Alexander or the mysterious boy, I can guarantee I would have seen Eli or Haider, Alexander's best friends.

Yes, did I fail to mention that Eli is friends with Alexander too? Eli, Haider and Alexander have basically been best friends since childhood and are always with one another nearly as much as I am with Piper and Asha. They basically rule the halls as our school's current troublemakers and I can't say, a week has ever gone by without at least one of them getting into trouble.

How lucky am I then to have intruded on the scariest and most violent one out of them? And so, though I'm not sure if the other two know about yesterday or even about Alexander kissing boys in general, I am not willing to take that chance.

I'm currently trying to make myself comfortable on the hard counter near the sinks when my phone rings and I dig it out of my pocket, gulping when I see the contact name.

'Hey, A-Asha.' I stutter, trying to act causal and cringing when I fail.

'Where are you?' She asks, getting straight to the point.

Judging by the way she doesn't say 'hi' back and her firm tone of voice, I can already tell she's mad at me.

'In the library, I've decided to study for next week's chemistry test today.' I quietly mumble as I lie, biting my lip anxiously.