Ever Since New York // H.S. - ON HOLD

CHAPTER 19 - PANCAKES FOR DINNER

A/N - I really really love this chapter & this song! I attached it, so play it when I tell you to!

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I am fuming. As in metaphorical steam coming out of my ears type of fuming. Who the hell does he think he is? Trying to kiss me one minute and then going on dinner dates the next? I suppose I brought this on myself, right? You let someone in, even in the slightest, and they always disappoint you. It is pretty screwed up of him to lead me on, especially when I was just starting to let down my guard. I mean I introduced him to my daughter for fucks sake!

How does any of that make sense? You come over, cook me and my daughter dinner, tell me you want to kiss me, then turn around to go out with someone else. Maybe I really am the one to blame. Afterall, I did ignore him and push him away following that night...oh my god...it really is my fault.

God, why do I have to be like this? Why can't I just be the fun-loving, happy-go-lucky, carefree girl who doesn't give a rat's ass about anything? That would make this so much easier. I wouldn't hate myself for feeling rejected, or for having feelings for him in the first place. I mean I just met him like a month ago, so logistically, I should not be feeling as much as I do for him. Yet, I do, and I don't know what to do about it.

I don't bother cancelling on him as he had already texted me saying he was on the way over. But boy is he going to hear an earful from me once he arrives because he owes me a damn good explanation. Or does he?

We haven't really discussed our feelings or anything yet...I mean he obviously hinted at them, but that doesn't mean anything, does it? There is no commitment here. We're just friends. So maybe he really doesn't owe me anything, but I would appreciate an explanation.

As I pace around the kitchen, making countless laps around the island with my mind whirling like a computer trying to analyze new found data, there is a knock at the door. Snapping my head in the direction of the sound, I make large strides toward the door, making sure to keep my phone clutched in my hand. Whipping the door open in one swift movement, I am greeted by Harry looking ever so cheerful. His emerald eyes are bright and filled with such joy. It takes everything in me to maintain my stand-off-ish demeanor as those eyes are just enough to send my knees buckling.

"Are you going to let me in?" He smirks, flashing his dimples as he raises his eyebrows up creating wrinkles in his forehead.

"Depends." I fold my arms across my chest, keeping a flat expression and deadpan eyes.

"On what?" He seems amused as he lets out a breathy chuckle in response. Without saying anything, I let my eyes graze his body from head to toe. Analyzing his soft features and relaxed body language, I can't decipher the cause of his behavior.

"C'mon, I wanna talk to you..." He urges, appearing sincere while also a bit eager. Without even thinking, I let my snippy attitude speak for me.

"About Kendall?" My voice is so sharp it could cut diamonds. Keeping my eyes on his, I see his brows furrow together, creating an entirely new set of wrinkles.

"What?" His tone is completely shocked as if he has no clue what I am talking about. Rolling my eyes, I keep my arms folded across my chest as I turn on my heels and walk into the living room. Feeling the heat radiating from Harry's body, I know he is following closely. Mere hours ago, I would have paid real money to feel his warmth encompass me, but right now it simply irritates me.

As I subconsciously start to pace back and forth once more, Harry takes a seat at one end of the couch but has his eyes fixated on me. Stopping my movements near the end of the coffee table, I turn my body toward him and our eyes meet. He raises his eyebrows again, giving me the look that says, 'well are you going to tell me?'