Creed's Lover (COMPLETED) - PUBLISHED under Precious Pages: LIB BARE

CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER 21

NAKATUTOK ang mga mata ni Creed sa monitor ng Laptop niya habang pinapanuod ang video ni Lockett. He was expecting an explanation on this video, but he got more than what he expected.

Lockett was staring at the camera as she spoke;

Hello, Creed. I don’t know when you are going to see this, maybe after my surgery. Kung nagtatanong ka kung nasaan ako ngayon, I’m here in Arizona. Nandito ako para magpagamot. She smiled sadly at the camera. Naalala mo ba nuong sumakit ang ulo ko at nang lumuwas tayo ng maynila? Nagpa-check up ako and guest what the result is? I have freaking meningiomas in my brain; in English I have a cancer. She chuckled lightly. Can you believe it? Of all the people in this world, ako pa ang nagkaroon ng sakit na iyon. Maraming rason kung bakit nagkaroon ako ng cancer pero hindi ko na iisa-isahin baka abutin tayo ng magdamag, malo-lowbat ang camera. Anyway, yun nga, nalaman ko and I don’t want to believe it. I mean, why me? Why now? Kung kailan nakilala na kita at kung kailan masaya na ako sa piling mo? I blamed god for my sickness. I mean, come on! I’m nice. I haven’t done anything to hurt other people. I go to church. I even give money to the poor, but, look what god gave me in return, a fucking sickness.

But nothing will change. Mag-deny man ako ng mag-deny, still, may cancer ako. And now, I’m here in Arizona. Siguro galit ka ngayon sa’kin no? Maybe you’re cursing me to death. I deserve that for not telling you. But you know what, Creed, I didn’t tell for your own sake. Ayokong matali ka sa’kin. I can see it in your eyes that you can move heaven and hell for me, but I don’t want you to move heaven and hell for me, I want you to be happy. That’s why I left, kasi alam ko na kapag nalaman mo na may sakit ako, mananatili ka sa tabi ko at ayokong itali ka sa tabi ko sa kaalamang may posibilidad na mamatay ako. Mahal na mahal kita, Creed, at hindi ko kakayanin na makita kang nasasaktan ng dahil sa akin.

I left and it tore my heart apart.  I know I hurt you but you have to understand, I’m saving you from much more pain. Okay lang sa’kin na mapira-piraso ang puso ko para sa’yo, I could say that it was my pleasure. So if I hurt you, believe me when I say I don’t intent to hurt you.

I left because you’re better off without me. I love you so much, Creed. I have to struggle to survive a day without seeing you and being with you. When my head ached, I wish you are here to hugged me and say that it will pass. When I can’t sleep of thinking about my cancer, I wish you’re here with me, whispering I love you to my ears. You are the most vital part of my life, because you have my heart. And I hope you take care of it, until I return. And when that day comes and I saw that you throw my heart away, I promise to seduce you with all my might just so you could pick up and mend my heart again. I love you so much, Creed. Goodbye.

The video stopped and that’s when Creed realized that he was crying. Mabilis niyang tinuyo ang luha niya habang nakatingin pa rin sa monitor ng Laptop niya.

He’s angry at Lockett. “Sino ka para magdesisyon para sa’kin? I could have been there for you instead of cursing you to death. I could have hugged you when you’re in pain and I could have chant ‘I love you’ until you fall asleep. Why did you keep it from me?”

Nakatitig lang siya sa monitor ng laptop habang kinakalma ang sarili. He’s in pain. He’s sad and he’s mad!

Pinilit niya ang sarili na pindutin ang pangawalang video. Nagulat siya ng makitang naka-hospital gown si Lockett at nakasakay ito sa wheel chair. It seems that she’s holding the camera.

She waved her hand at the camera and smile. Hi, Creed. Katatapos ko lang magpa-check up and yeah, confirmed, I have a cancer. Ang boses nito ay parang wala lang ang sakit ito. Mukhang hindi ako makakabalik sa Pilipinas katulad ng plano ko. Sorry ha? Mukhang matatagal ako rito. Pero huwag kang mag-alala, pagbalik ko, okay na ako. Sabi ni Dr. Edzel, ooperahan daw ako next week. He also told me that this operation is just to see if my cancer is malignant or not. Wala naman daw mangyayari na masama sa’kin. So, pumayag ako. Para naman ito sa’kin. Maybe this is the last time you’ll see my long and wavy beautiful hair, kakalbohin daw nila kasi ako bago ang surgery. She then smile and wave again. Talk to you again, Creed. Maybe after my operation. Bye. Love you!