until i'm nothing

astronomy in reverse (it was me who was discovered)

"You'll figure it out," Tyler said lightly. "You're good at fixing things."

Josh laughed, but it sounded too forced. His heart was beating fast. He felt like he was in a race against time, the headlight of the train burning a hole into his back. "Maybe, but starting from scratch? I'm only good at fixing broken things. Nothing's broken."

Tyler winked mysteriously. "Not yet, it's not."

Josh rolled his eyes at Tyler's dramatics. Tyler's eyes caught on the arriving train, and he pushed his now-dry sleeping bag into Josh's chest.

"Take it," he said. "Until you find a place of your own. It might get cold."

"In LA?"

Tyler shrugged. "You never know."

Josh gratefully bundled up the sleeping bag and held it against his chest. "This isn't goodbye, is it? Like, for good?"

"No," Tyler said firmly, confidently, "it's not."

The train pulled up to the station. They watched it slow to a stop, wheels screeching and people waving at the conductors, and families saying their final goodbyes. Josh's throat burned.

"Your sweatshirt," Josh said, suddenly remembering. He hadn't taken it off within the five days since he'd put it on except to wash it once.

Tyler looked at his sweatshirt on Josh. "You can keep it," he said. His voice was soft. "I almost forgot it was mine."

"Won't you get weird looks for wearing a skeleton hoodie?"

"Nah," Tyler said. Then he smirked and said, "At this point, I'm kind of used to it." He started towards the train as the doors opened, and Josh watched him walking away, and desperately wished it didn't have to happen.

"You better text me!" Tyler called over his shoulder.

Josh choked out a laugh, but he couldn't say anything so he just watched as Tyler climbed the train's steps and disappeared from his view for a moment. But he reappeared as he managed to snatch a window seat in the car right in front of Josh. As other people continued getting on, Tyler pulled out his cellphone and smirked, typing something.

A moment later, Josh's phone buzzed.

Unknown Number: I took more sleeping photos of you without telling you, because I know you'd delete them right away. Here's the gallery:

And, just as he said, fifteen photos of Josh sleeping over the course of the past five days caused his phone to buzz some more. Josh just gave a disappointed sigh, and Tyler was shaking with laughter in the train as he watched Josh's reaction. 

Josh changed Tyler's contact name to something that gave him a smile.

Josh: Creep

Travel Partner: Couldn't help it. You looked way too adorable to NOT take a picture

And then the doors were closing and the train was moving, and Josh gave Tyler a wave and Tyler saluted back. He wanted nothing more than to run along the side of the train, but he restrained himself. The train picked up speed and Josh watched, clutching Tyler's red sleeping bag, his fingers wrapped around the cuffs of Tyler's sweatshirt, and the breeze from the train lifted his purple hair, purple because of Tyler, because no one else could convince him to do something like that. And for the first time since leaving Ohio, he felt like a completely different person. A person who didn't have to carry around past mistakes. A person whose future was completely his own.

A person whose future could theoretically possess drums, if he wanted it to. Theoretically.

Josh watched as the train became a spec, then rounded a corner and dropped out of his vision. As soon as the last car had disappeared, his phone buzzed again.

Travel Partner: miss u already

Josh typed out a reply with a smile, something cheeky about Tyler being "too clingy" and slid his phone back into his pocket. He had a few hours before his train arrived. His train to LA. He didn't know what would happen when he got there, or where he would go, or if he would like it. And even though he would continue this journey alone, he felt less alone now than he ever felt in his entire life.

Maybe, once his train got into LA, he'd find a place where you can see the stars. A planetarium, probably, because he doubted you could stargaze easily with all the light pollution. Maybe he could learn the constellations like Tyler. Maybe by the time he got himself a car, another comet would come around. He could find a nice field and spread out Tyler's red sleeping bag, and spend the night searching the cloudless sky for the comet. And maybe, just maybe, Tyler would be looking up at that same, brilliant, blazing comet from his own backyard, 2,000 miles away.