"No one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. That is the true experience of freedom: having the most important thing in the world without owning it."
Eleven Minutes
***
Cahel
"You're up for screening for Dior, Alliana!" Masayang balita sa akin ni Lilac.
I renewed my hold to Dale. I'm breastfeeding him now. I find it too awkward at first but I get to used to it as time passed by.
Today is Dale's birthday.
Cahel is helping the maids downstairs to fix our little celebration a while ago. He actually invited his friends for a drink but still, Dale is not allowed to be seen by someone.
We have the means and money but we can't give our child the life he deserves. Kami kami lang din ang kasali sa party kasama ang kasambahay. I feel sad for my child because I can't even give him a party celebration for a normal one year old baby.
Sino ba ang attend? Kami kami lang din. Dahil sa pagkamakasarili ko, ngayon ko nakikita na ang anak ko nga ang pinakamaaapektuhan.
I said to myself that I want to give him a complete family. I want to give him the things I am deprived of but look what happened right now. Aside from us, no one knows that my son exist.
"That's Dior! A fucking Dior omygod!" She screamed hysterically.
My child is just looking at me as he enjoy sucking my beads! For the love of god! Parang wala itong pakielam sa eskandalosang pagsigaw sigaw ni Lilac. He enjoys it so much!
"Quit playing around, Lilac. You're dreaming." I lazily told her.
We're here in Dale's room. There's a breastfeed milk in his bottle but this child is so picky! He wants to have his milk directly from me!
"Oh look how starving he is. Manang mana sa tatay kung sumipsip!"
I don't know but my cheeks blushed. I glared at Lilac but she just look at me with innocent eyes. This old hag!
"What? As if, Cahel didn't suck—"
"Lilac!" Suway ko. Napaigtad si Dale kaya naman inalo ko agad.
Lilac's laugh echoed the room. Kung hindi ko lang talaga hawak ang anak ko ay hindi ako magdadalawang isip na batuhin siya ng lahat ng mahawakan ko.
"Don't tell me you haven't done it?" Nagugulantang niyang tanong pagkatapos tumawa.
Umiliing iiling na lang ako, nauubusan ng pasensiya. Seriously, why is she asking me that!?
"Oh god. Seriously!?"' She said iin exaggerated voice.
Sinamaan ko siya ulit ng tingin. "Will you shut up? Dale can't even sleep because of you, old lady."
Dale giggles.
Nakapamaywang na ngayon sa harapan ko si Lilac habang nakasandal ako sa headrest ng kama. "Ah so dry season?"
"Lilac please quit it! I don't want to talk about it. Really? In front of my child?"
Dale giggles again as if he can understand what am I saying.
Ang sinasabi ba naman kasi ni Lilac ngayon ay suntok sa buwan. Cahel can't even kiss me and make out to me like before. Iyon pa kaya!?
"Ok fine. Then let's talk about the portfolio you passed in Dior years ago."
Kumunot nang todo ang noo ko. "Portfolio? In Dior?" Naninigurado kong tanong.
She eyed me and raised her brows. "And now you have an amnesia. First, you have a dry season and now this-"
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