A/N: can't lie I'm literally listening to the call her daddy podcast while I write 🤷🏽♀️💁🏽♀️
"I've missed you." I sighed as Aaliyah clung to me.
"We're too stubborn for our own good!" She whined.
"I know." I spoke so quietly, I felt extremely shy.
"I can't wait to spend all the time that they're on tour, with you! The girls can get to know you." she smiled. She saw the way I looked at her and her smile fell flat.
"I'm sorry if you're still angry I didn't-"
"No that's not it...it's just...I'm not going to be around."
"What the fuck does that mean?!...are you moving? Wha-"
"No and no...I guess you could say I'm going to rehab." I said as I watched Aaliyah look me up and down.
"For what?" She asked quietly as she took hold of my hand.
"It's been going on for years, no ones ever known...until Rook...I have an issue with food, I just-"
"You have an eating disorder?! Is this why your weight would change so much, I thought that was because you didn't give a fuck. The whole time I thought your were so confident, you seemed so happy? I-."
"Confidence? We don't know her?" I tried to joke.
I clearly failed to uplift the mood when Aaliyah started to sob again in front of me.
"Aaliyah stop crying, you're scaring me."
"I'm sorry it's the pregnancy hormones. But you know I've got your back, I really thought I could live without you, but I need my best friend in my life, and I need her to be well."
"You're pregnant...again!" She nodded her head, not noticing the change of subject.
"I don't want to tell Kells yet, because when I was pregnant with the twins...well triplets, I had an early miscarriage."
"Tell him, he would want to know, and whatever happens I'm sure he'll be there for you."
"Yeah I should...what about you?...any babies on the cards?"
"T.M.I...but... I can't even bring myself to have sex because I feel so fat and ugly, that poor boyfriend of mine hasn't had any action in over six months." I said as I covered my face with my hands, and groaned to myself.
"Is he understanding about everything that's going on right now?" She asked.
"Of course, he's the fucking best."
"Well try and push yourself Leesha, just wear an oversized t-shirt, no panties, and he'll love it."
"I can't I'll start thinking about how ugly my thighs look."
"I know your ass must be horny ok, so be the beautiful whore that you are and think of his dick and the orgasm it's going to give you at all times."
"Right." I chuckled at her.
"We don't care what we look like we care about how we feel...ok?"
"Ok sir" I said sarcastically.
"That a good little slut." Aaliyah said back as she giggled at me. Her words instantly made me wet to the core.
"Since were about honesty now...that turned me the fuck on."
"I thought you didn't have feelings for me now?" She said.
"I don't that was still hot as shit."
"Let's stop whatever this is now." She chuckled.
"Of course..." I answered with a giggle.
"Baby! What are you doing? You lost the weight, so why do you keep going?" Rook grumbled at me as he picked me up from the floor, my legs had buckled, I hadn't eaten for two days and I had been exercising for hours.
"There's nothing wrong with losing weight.
"Baby you've dropped over 30lb...you weighed yourself and 80lb is small, you need to stop." He placed me on to the sofa.
"What's caused this? Your doctor is getting worried about you, he might send you there without a choice, if funding gets accepted."
"I would've never known you had that. You don't look like you do...shits crazy." I answered.
"That's what Kells said when he found out." I continued.
"He didn't mean it like that! I know it's extremely insensitive to say, but I promise you he did not mean it in that way."
"I don't want to go to rehab, for an eating disorder, when I should be at a fucking fat camp!" I sobbed, and turned away from him screaming and sobbing into the pillow.
"Alecia! Alecia stop it!"
By this point I was pulling at my natural hair which was left out.
He managed to secure my arms behind my back as I sobbed and struggled against him, I could hear how worried he was, i'd never been like this, I cried and cried until I lost the last of my energy. He finally let go to carry me to the bedroom, he helped me to get a shower since I felt so weak.
By the time I was laid down he came back in the room with two bowls of fruit and some bread and butter, I looked up at him. He knew I wouldn't eat any dairy products and especially bread, and he also knew I wouldn't eat more than 8 chunks of fruit.
He handed me one of the bowls and sat down next to me. Usually he ate away from me so I was surprised we were in the same room with food. I notice him pick up a chunk of watermelon when I did and eat it in unison with me. I ate two more pieces and he did the same thing. I felt sick at the feeling of eating, so I left my bowl on the bedside table, he once again mimicked me.
"When you don't eat, I don't eat, when you binge, I binge, when you make yourself sick, I do the same. You pull your hair out again, I do the same to mine...got it?"
I shook my head no at him.
"I'm scared, because you're getting worse and worse, I can't even eat or sleep in the same room as you. And I get scared that you're actually not going to stop till you're dead, if I do it you'll care enough about me to just have one spoonful more." He continued
I picked up the bowl from the table and ate another chunk of fruit.
"Thank you." He said as he ate another piece.
"I'll go in, in a week or two." My voice came out as a whisper as tears fell down my cheeks.
"I love you." He answered back.
He couldn't even look me, I could tell how much he was hurting...