'cause i don't wanna, i don't wanna, i don't wanna die young

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a few days ago i had this panel q&a thing and it was actually kinda fun. i would get nervous when i turned on my camera but after a while i'd get a lil comfortable.

also i forgot this song existed like hello??

this morning i woke up and my hair looked so freaking awesome. okay so in the days after my mom cut my hair i was happy at first but then i started getting upset again so i wanted to cut more (i still do but not the point) but this morning my hair was just so on point it flowed amazingly it was awesome

i had some whack clone/werewolf dream and it involved a lot of running and screaming however this is the first time my nightmare didn't induce fear. it was almost like my frontal lobe was surgically removed bc i've had dreams like that before (where something is chasing me and catches me then pins me down and suffocates me) and i usually get a sense of fear especially when i stop breathing. but this time it felt like a goofy dream it was weird

i had this bomb idea for a story where basically this boy meets this other boy in a library. they get to know each other and boy 1 finds out that boy 2 has some condition where his legs can't support his body completely (there's a name but i forgot it) so he has to walk around with crutches and he basically has to skip out on most physical activities. then it kinda turns into jumanji, i won't say too much bc i'm still thinking about it but when i tried to write it a few days ago it wasn't turning out how i wanted.

okay so now i just messaged my friend with the idea, he polished it up a bit for me and now i'm so excited to write it :)) he and i have been trying to write a book together since sixth grade. unfortunately i thought i was at the messiah of all young adult writers (you hear that crap? i thought i qualified as a young adult at the age of 11) honestly my terrible writing lead to the downfall of the book and i quickly realized that a majority of my plan for the book was very poorly written. so i attempted to rewrite it like four times and i would've started a fifth time if it wasn't for online classes keeping me busy. but now the idea is set in motion and imma try to brainstorm some more so i can write it out.

i decided to draw a little bit yesterday and today and boy oh boy it turned out better than i thought. i mainly drew faces so i found out that the reason i'm always so frustrated when i draw is bc of heads and bodies. the faces are so easy and relaxing like for some reason i wasn't worried about perfection this time and i actually got it close to perfect like wHAT who knew that drawing just bc it relaxes you is actually much better than drawing bc you want to to be a perfect replication?? that's whack dood. also i found that avatar is so much easier to draw than she ra and voltron, guess dreamworks is harder than nickelodeon who knew?? steven universe is also kinda hard, the simpler it is, the harder it is :(

that's it ig love ya buh bye


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