never in his life did he think in the year 2016 he would be doing blow in a hotel room with jonny craig. especially after years of just weed. he kind of missed coke though in a weird fucked up way. he didn't miss how using it used to make him feel afterward; it was like he was emotionally vacant unless he was doing it. but he missed the cheery, carefree attitude it gave him. his tolerance was probably extremely low again, but that was the only thing that worried him.
he honestly lost brain cells every time he talked to jonny.
jonny has been shooting up heroin for around ten or so years. that's why jon stopped doing blow with him. because he knew jonny would coerce him into other things.
but now they were in a hotel room doing lines and jon felt a lot better.
"it's good seeing you man," jonny said. he had time off tour with his band slaves, and decided ohio was a good stop to 'see an old friend.'
his pupils were pinpoints in a normally lit room. coke wasn't all he was carrying and jon could tell. "good to see you too." jon lied. he just wanted his old friends coke. "it's nice to get my mind off things."
that wasn't a lie. he knew jonny didn't care that much and he was fine with it that way.
he was also high. and he was feeling good. artificially, hyperfixating good.
-
when jon got home he went straight for his room. wren wasn't there, which relieved him. he just wanted this day to be over.
he put the blow jonny left him on his counter. and he took out his phone and went to his microphone app. he had lyrics. and he didn't want to forget.
-
wren got home to hear screaming, and it alerted her before she realized it was jon from his room. she had never heard his uncleans without a track before.
she made her way over to the bedroom door, gently putting her ear to it, trying to pick up his lyrics.
"I feel myself like I've been pushing a clown all around every town
I guess I hustled for this dead-eyed look
and if a cooler breeze might pass me buy
I would lie and let you know that I live for this
It's a bitch and a trip
a wet kiss on the lips
and you can flip off the kids
and you can make your dick hurt
you can be grateful and hateful
still make it all work"
she heard him stop before repeating the last sentence. he said the last sentence three times, she assumed to get a good take.
she could talk to him in the morning. she would try and make it better.
because deep down she knew she loved him back. even if she didn't want to admit it she knew. and she just wanted to go in there and hug him from behind; to put her head against his and feel his embrace.
she wanted to make it better, she just didn't want to face the goodbye.
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Happiness ↣ Jon Mess
Hayran Kurguin which jon mess has a mental break and wren legrande is an optimist who guides him out of the road. "wren makes me happy. and that's a lot to ask out of someone."
