Another World

Chapter 22

"Come on Lauren let's go out." Camila said while coming into my room.

"I'm not really up for it." I replied blankly.

Camila walked over to my bed where I was laying down and sat right next to me. She looked at me tenderly and it made my heart sink. I've been shutting her out and not wanting to hangout with her, Tom, and Daniella. I haven't been able to get over Ally's death in over a month.

"Look. I know it hurts Lauren. It hurts me too. She was my friend too. But I hate seeing you like this. You need to leave this house for something else besides school. It's been weeks, Laur. I miss seeing you happy. I miss hanging out with you. I just miss being with you and I miss everything about you." Camila said as she grabbed my hand. At first I flinched but I slowly relaxed and grabbed her hand also.

"I don't feel myself anymore." I said slowly and Camila nodded.

"That's okay. You can get through this and I'll help you." She answered me.

"I've done stuff that I'm not proud of, Camz.." I looked at Camila after I said that and her face dropped instantly.

"Like.. what?"

"I don't really want to talk about it, Camila." I looked away from her now. I was ashamed of everything that I've been doing this past month. I wasn't ready to talk about it.

"Okay. But.. you know you could always talk to me, Lauren. That's what I'm here for." She pulled my face up so that I was looking at her.

"I need help, Camz." I finally said the words that I never thought would come out of my mouth.

"Okay. Well I'm here to help." Camila said straight forward. She didn't understand what I was trying to say.

"No. I need real help." She bit her lip finally understanding me.

"You..you want to leave?" She stuttered. Her voice clear with hurt.

"I need the help. Can't you see that I'm not okay anymore?" I rose my voice a little.

"I..I.." She took a deep breath. "I can't lose you again." Her eyes were filling with tears now and it broke my heart.

"I'm already lost.."

"I need you. I need to have you there with me every step of the way. And you need me too. I know you do. Please just let me help you." The first tear fell down her face.

"I need to leave, Camila. The only way I can really be me again is if I get the professional help that I need. You have to respect that. Please." I was crying now too. I knew that I couldn't bare leaving her but it's best for me.

"Okay." Was all she said.

"Okay what?" I asked.

"You're right. It's your decision and I need to respect that. I just wish it could be different." She let go of my hand.

There was a silence but it wasn't awkward. I was dreading to tell her what was going to happen next but I had to.

"I'm leaving in two days..." I broke the silence and I finally told Camila.

"You're what?!?" She stood up and asked me sternly.

"I wanted to tell you I was just waiting." I looked down and played with my hands.

"How long have you known you were going to leave me?" She flew her hands out and questioned me.

"About a week or two after Ally died.."

"You didn't spend time with me for almost a full month and you knew you were leaving?! How could you do this to me, Lauren?" She let out more tears. I hurt her and that's the last thing that I ever wanted to do.