floating | ✓

15| red

“There is no bad ideas. Just poorly executed awesome ones.”

-Damon Salvatore

15| red

It is Monday. When I wake up, I have a terrible headache. Then I remember I have school, and that makes my headache worse. I have a test, so I have to go. I eat my breakfast, and with the sheer force of my remaining willpower, I head towards school.

I bet I look terrible today, but nobody’s gonna notice. So I go to Jason’s locker, where I find the boys.

Turning to Jason, I say, “Hug me.” 

Because I really need a hug. Jason obliges. When I lean back, I see Oliver looking at me with an unreadable expression in his face. I don’t know what to call it. 

Curiosity? Maybe.

“What?” I ask him.

“Nothing.” Oliver shakes his head.

We all head towards our respective classes. Man, I hate school.

***** 

I find myself in the cafeteria later. I don’t know how I spent half the day listening, not listening to the lectures. And that test, I don’t even care about it. The cafeteria is loud, and I have no hunger.

The noise only makes my headache worse. I sit at one of the corner tables, not going to Oliver’s because today I’m not my usual sunny self, and I don’t want anyone to know that. I look at Oliver, who’s sitting at his usual table with his lunch, frowning and probably waiting for Jason to show up.

I breathe in and out, resting my forehead on the table, ignoring my lunch.

“Didn’t know we changed our table.” I look up. Oliver is standing here with his lunch tray in his hand, waiting for me to make room.

I stare at him. Then I move my lunch tray silently. Oliver sits down.

“Where is Jason?” I ask.

“I don’t know,” Oliver replies and eats his lunch.

That is exactly why he is here. We didn’t change our table. I wanted to be alone. He didn’t want to be alone. So he is here.

“Where is your book?” I ask.

Oliver knits his eyebrows together. “Why is that even an issue?”

I don’t say anything. Instead, I look away.

“Whatever.”

I frown and look down at my hands.

“Why aren’t you eating?” Oliver asks.

I snap my head towards him, “I am not hungry. And stop acting like you care. ”

Oliver says, “It’s not like you want me to care. ”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy. Who wanted to be your friend? Me. Who is always going after you? Me. Who started acting like your friend? Me,” I say. “Does that mean anything to you? No. What did you say to me? ‘We will never be friends.’”

Oliver says, “All I want to know is why. We have been around each other for so long. Why do you suddenly want to be friends with me?”

“Because you’re a dipshit?” I reply.

Oliver isn’t happy with my answer. I am done with this shit, so I stand up and take my tray.

“Maybe because I wanted a friend. Oh wait, you don’t care, and we will NEVER be friends. I will remember that. ”