What Could Have Been (Short Story)

What Could Have Been

I watched as the Dome ship flew back to where I was born, where I grew up, and where I trained. Never thought of returning, not after the fight as a kid, that I won, against a fully trained male Andalite. The fight that cursed me to leave and never return. 

Yet, I was still returning, as I stand in the dome part of the ship. I stood as Anadlite of course, but I longed to morph into human. I turned away from the window and continued thinking if I should have left sooner, or not at all. 

Should I have spent that one year with my daughter Lora, of left right after giving her to the orphanage? She'll probably hate me for that. Leaving her tore my heart out. I haven't felt such pain since...

Since James died. Since my twin brother died. That pain haunts me, even after so many years. I could have stopped it! I COULD HAVE STOPPED IT! I feel to the ground and took deep breathes. 1...2...3...4...4...4...urg. I stood back up and turned to see a young female Andalite in the doorway. She was one of the thousand girls to be training to be a warrior. She could because of me. <How long have you been standing there?> I asked her.

<Not long! I promise I saw nothing Miss Isthill,> She said, clearly worried I would get mad at her. So sweet.

<It's fine. Just...Just don't tell anyone, okay?> She nodded, <Good. Now is there something you want to tell me?>

<We have landed.> She said.

I nodded and sent her off. I soon made my way off the ship and the whole army was there to welcome me home. I was home, but it didn't feel like home anymore. I looked at all the males lined up, few young females were too. None that I recognized, nor remembered if I did. At the end, waiting for me was my father, Aximili and another female child. I walked over to him slowly and he hugged me once I was close enough. He never hugged me. Never. 

I pulled back and soon Amber and Sora were there. Sora was the typical blue color, but Amber was all white. They hugged me too, that didn't surprise me. I looked back at my father. <I heard about Elfgor. I'm so sorry Elandor,> He said. Elfgor is James' Anadlite name. Elandor is mine. Their both from father's brother's name, Elfangor. He was a war-prince, a very good one but was murdered by Visser 3.

I only nodded to my father then looked at the female child. <I'm Samilin,> She said, <Samilin-Elandor-Isthill.>

I turned back to my father and said privately, <Elandor? Isthill? I do not understand.>

<You see, your mother and I agreed that going back to Earth was the best for her and we decided to...Well we aren't legally married on Earth so we split here. She went home and started a new life there and I got re-married and had Sam here. Her mother said we should name her after you since the name is now very popular because of you.> He explained. 

Step-mother, step-sister, probably a step-brother too. It was too much. Too much and before I knew it, I was running. I went into the trees and stood there. This was nuts. I should have stayed with Lora. I should have raised her. I should have be the mother I should be. 

<WHY? Why me?> I yelled at no one. I kicked a tree and feel to the ground once again, crying. My life has become such a mess that so many things became blurs to me. I didn't understand what I was suppose to do anymore. What was I suppose to do?