The Ever Secret Diary of Sirius Black

Ch 9: Woes and Women Troubles

September 3rd, 6th year:

"How do you think Sinistra would react if she found a great black dog in her bed one morning?" Sirius mused over breakfast as Stella walked by.

"And how might I add, could the dog have gotten there, considering it doesn't know the Ravenclaw password or that it's utterly impossible for it to get up the staircase?" Moony asked innocently. The comment had shattered Sirius' fantasy.

"You didn't answer my question Moony. Besides, I always thought you could levitate me in through the window."

Moony frowned, pondering an answer. "I think she'd scream and kick the mutt out of her sheets."

"Oh, well what does Prongs think?" Sirius turned to James whose nose was buried in an article of the Daily Prophet labeled, "Latest Nimbus model 1000".

"I gotta get me one of these," he mumbled to himself.

"What does Prongs think?" Sirius repeated again, louder this time.

"Oh, yeah what Remus said, sure." James was back to reading the article in a stupor with the Nimbus 1000.

"She might wake up sneezing too though," Moony added thoughtfully, returning to the topic of Sinistra. "I hear she's allergic to cats, maybe it's the same for dogs." He avoided Sirius' gaze.

All night Sirius had been talking in his sleep, telling James to shut up and Elise to stop sneezing. It had been an amusing night for Moony, but a tortured one for Padfoot. Sirius had jumped when Moony had mentioned the word sneeze.

He suppressed smiling as he continued. "You'd be better off bounding up to the Ravenclaw table and begging than you'd be in her bed."

"Well I won't be going anywhere near her anytime soon, now will I?" Sirius said snappishly, giving James an angry look. James squirmed uncomfortably in his seat and cleared his throat, he too avoiding Sirius' eyes.

"Transfiguration today," He said, changing the subject.

"And arithmancyfor me," groaned Moony. "You two should have taken it this year, it's so boring in there now."

"Well you and McGavott can snuggle together in your little study group in the back instead," Sirius offered, flicking the crumbs from his toast at Wormtail.

Moony's face fell. "I won't be seeing her, did I tell you? She says Evans can help her just fine. I think Lily persuaded her out of it, something to do with me being friends with James I'm sure."

Moony gave James an apologetic look and sighed. "That just registered her as down right stupid in my mind. I suppose it's all for the better..." he trailed off staring absently down at his hands.

BAM! James slammed his fist down on the table, causing some third years to jump. He hadn't meant to hit it so hard, but ignored the goggling faces and continued in a harsh whisper to Moony.

"You go up to McGavott right now and you demand she go out with you!" he returned to his regular tone. "That's twisted that is! What's it Evans has against me anyway?"

"It's more the fact that you exist," said a voice coolly from behind.

It was Lily. She mocked James' previous comment in reference to Snape. James winced, he was beginning to feel the sting of his own words. She didn't dally and sped away, her nose high in the air.

"Hiss, scratch, meow!" came from Sirius' side of the table. "She really loves you Prongs, I can tell."

"You're not funny right now," Jamesmumbled quietly. His face looked sick with humiliation, he had never counted on Lily firing his own guns against him. He held his chin in his hands and took to a glum countenance. "Great" he mumbled irritably. "Just great."