Annie is having an end of summer sleepover this weekend and I'm really excited. There's gonna be music, bonfire, s'mores, laughing and fun. Annie, Kat, Sarah and I are all going to be hanging out for the last time together for summer 2013. It's gonna be a blast. I'm also going to show them the iPod I stole from Nicholas!
When I walk into Annie's house I immediately feel at home. I know where everything is and I know where everyone is. We hang out in The basement for a while listening to music, eating snacks, and playing games. "Sarah will you come with me to get something to drink?" I asked Sarah because everyone knows a girl doesn't go anywhere without a friend.
"Of course let me get my phone. " She said and ran to get it. I missed hanging out with Sarah so much. When we get upstairs no ones in the kitchen so I take advantage of our luck.
"Yeah what's up?"
"I have something to tell you later okay? We can take a walk or something. "
"Umm okay. Are you okay?"
"Ummm....yeah." I sigh and we walk back downstairs. The excitement of school starting soon and being with everyone again fills the room, like a replacement for oxygen. 30 minutes after I told Sarah I needed to talk to her Annie's mom yells downstairs, "Girls I hope you're having fun-"
"Um okay. well pizza's here so come up and get it." She yelled and we heard her footsteps walk away. Everything went silent and we all looked at each other, then all at once everyone rushed up the stairs and surrounded the pizza like a bunch of starved animals. We all took our time eating 5 pieces each and laughing at each others stories. We all knew this is too good to be forever but we were blinded by all the fun. After dinner we waited for Annie's dad to set up the Bon-fire, and her mom to get the s'more stuff. "Okay girls everything's ready! Annie you know the rules. Don't break them." Her mom warned.
"This is so much fun. " I said while shoving a s'more down my throat. We sat and talked for a long time, telling stories we've already told and throwing some new ones in there too. The fire was starting to calm down and Sarah had to leave soon so I asked her, "hey wanna go for a walk now?"
"Sure. Okay. " She said and put her stuff down and gave me her hands to pull her up. We told everyone we'd be right back and walked down the pipe stem and to the stop sign.
"So.. you know how I told you I didn't live with my mom?" She nodded. "Well I don't live with her because she's.....in.......jail." I kept eye contact the whole time I talked and even know, as im waiting for her to say something. Finally she said, "oh my god. Nikki I'm so sorry. do you wanna talk about it?"
I did want to tell her. I wanted to tell her everything from the day I met her last year. I know she won't tell anyone. "You promise you won't tell anyone? I'm not ready for everyone to know." I asked.
"Of course I won't tell anyone."
"Well when I was younger my mom would go to parties at night after she put my brother and I to bed. I hated when she went to parties because she was always out so late and i would try to stay up until she got home. i never made it that long of course because i was in 4th grade but i still tried very hard. i would ask my nanny to call her every 10 minutes and usually she would until it got really late or until she realized my mom wasn't going to answer. i understand now that she knew the whole time my mom wasn't going to answer, but she still let me call because she loved me." I explained everything to Sarah right then and there. even though i was crying i still knew everything was going to be okay. The more i told her the better i felt, the more i knew i could do it again. we walked back to Annie's house quietly and sat down. i had told Sarah i didn't want to tell anyone else yet.
"what did you guys go do?" Annie and Kat asked at the same time. they seemed really pissed off and i understood why but i still didn't want to tell them.
"nothing i just needed some advice." i said looking at the decent sized flames.
"come on Nikki tell us. it's not fair you're telling stuff to Sarah and not us." Annie snapped. im really trying hard not to make eye contact with her but its really hard.
"yeah you should tell us, we're your friends too." Kat said.
basically saved by the lights, Sarah's mom pulled into Annie's pipe stem and i stood up. i ran over to Sarah's car and hugged her mom through the window. i absolutely adore Sarah's mom, she's so funny. Annie and Kat said goodbye to Sarah and i waited at her car to say goodbye. "what do i do?" i ask as i pull her in to hug her. im hoping she'll tell me to call my parents and tell them to come get me or invite me to come to her house tonight, but she doesn't. "If you want to tell them then tell them but dont if you dont want to." I love her to death but that really doesn't help me right now.
after Sarah's gone i know i have to go back and sit with Kat and Annie and tell them something whether its the truth or not.
"so what did you tell her? its not fair that you told her even though she didn't even like you in 6th grade. we've been here since 6th grade and you wont tell us. we're better friends then she is!' Annie snapped and i don't think I'm the only one that is surprised by what she said, Kat's mouth is open a little and her eyes are kind of wide. i give up.
*****hey guys so This is the first time im ever telling strangers and friends the whole story no lies no bluffs no bull. This is non-fiction and all of this did happen to me and I'm still dealing with this now and I probably will forever but I want to put my story out there for people to read so I hope you guys are enjoying it and just understand that it's a lot to deal with and its a really big deal for me to be putting it all out there.*******
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This is a real non-fiction book! This book is about my life and how I coped with everything i went through/still going through. My whole life I've loved writing but didn't know what to write. I found my story...hope you like it! COPYRIGHT © Ash_Murp...