falling, falling, but i never thought you'd leave me

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i totally forgot how much i was obsessed with ariana grande in 2018, i forgot this song existed and i forgot how much of a bop it was.

oh and i forgot just how much i recognize each of the actors from community, with the exception of gillian jacobs. okay so like danny pudi (abed) i first saw him on powerless (you know that amazing show featuring vanessa hudgens that was all about a company in the superhero world that worked on technology to protect citizens from collateral damage from super fights. oh and it was also unfortunately cancelled) joel mchale (jeff) i first saw him on spy kids 4 (and yes ik a lot of people don't like that one but it's actually really fun and cool and it made up my entire childhood and it was great okay) then yvette nicole brown who played shirley first came into my life as helen from drake & josh, chevy chase who's pierce first appeared as clark griswald and one of the three amigos bc my entire childhood was also filled with chevy chase movies and sketches, allison brie who's annie first came up in glow (and she was amazing), and last but not least donald glover, wonderful man, childish gambino AND lands in solo AND aaron davis (ya know miles morales's uncle but in spiderman homecoming) AND marshall lee from adventure time AND greg on alexander and the terrible horrible no good very bad day :) as you can tell donald glover has played a VERY big part in my life

OH and ken jeong who plays ben chang has been on like everything since i was little from glee to the masked singer so i can't really pin him anywhere and then jim rash was on sky high and he was godly

WHEW we done? cool. that cast is great, all of them are amazing.

anywho yeah nothing much. i'm still conflicted as to whether or not i should even bother correcting or educating my parents at this point. they don't really talk to outside people and they don't do things that will make them look prejudiced. so if i just have to listen to them say offensive stuff for everyone else's sake i'll do it. i just sometimes wish they'd listen to me or understand me with making fun of me.

okay so my mom's back was in PAIN for like two weeks now, it's slowly going down but she's had to rest for the past weeks. so i decided that since my mom was down, i would get the door for the dogs, i'd get their water bowls, i'd get stuff if i needed to. you know, i tried not to depend on her as much (which was a surprising amount) and today she asked me why i keep getting the door. so obviously i told her and my dad "bc it's more convenient if i get it. plus you guys always get on me for not doing enough so why not?" AND THEN THEY GOT MAD AT ME they straight up told me that i'm sensitive and can't take a joke so i told them "fine. but i'm still trying to do more" bc it's my understanding that chores are supposed to make you more responsible and help you when it's time for you to adult but my parents never really gave me chores so why not start now? then my mom gets mad and my dads telling me that she's mad bc she doesn't like being targeted and i'm attacking her DOES THAT NOT SOUND LIKE THE MOST RIDICULOUS THING EVER

whatevs lil nas x is freaking great, rodeo is still a bop and i cannot wait for call me by your name to drop bc it sounds bomb.

have i ever mentioned that i absolutely despise sundays? idk if it started bc of church or bc i went to my grandma's house (and i'd sit there from like 4 in the afternoon until like 9 at night listening to a bunch of adults talking about politics or american idol without anything to occupy me) all i know is it started when i was little and i cannot stand sundays. if you've ever hung out with me on a sunday, i'll either be all awkward or annoyed (if we're only hanging out during the day) OR i'll be super happy and stuff (bc chances are you made my day better) something about sundays just makes me so upset. i'm hyper aware of the stuff that makes me hate about how i look, when i get bored i get 10x more aggravated than i would on a normal day, i basically just feel gross and sick for the whole day. i think something that doesn't help is the fact that i'm stuck with BOTH of my parents (and my sister when she lived with us) from the time i woke up to the time i went to bed. THERE IS NEVER AN ESCAPE. at least i get a few hours away from my family on weekdays and on saturdays my mom works so my dad's either cleaning all day or he's playing his video games so we don't really talk. BUT when we're all here, they put on their boring as hell movies, they talk about politics and old people, or they resort to making fun of me :)

anyways y'all remember the summer of 2017? i'm not saying that was the best summer bc it wasn't but i do appreciate that that specific summer was when more of my personality formed and i became less of a little asshole. and omg my choice in music was questionable. that summer, the only songs i listened to were fergalicious, the reese's puffs rap, ptaf's boss a** b***h, i gotcha man by strona d, it's me from tryhardninja, science blaster (you know the game theory theme song), chain hang low, and cool patrol AGAIN it was questionable for a reason. and i was only watching markiplier, jacksepticeye, and crankgameplays, i was playing disco discomfort and yandere simulator, and i was wondering if there would come a day in which i would love myself and i would have friends that weren't cynical and pessimistic. SURPRISE it happened :))

oh and trolls world tour was great, the cast was astronomical and i appreciated singing along to all of the songs bc i'm so cultured that i knew most of them :)) anthony ramos was great, ester dean was great, flula borg was great, mary j blige was great, kenan thompson was great, kelly clarkson was great, and obviously justin timberlake and anna kendrick were great. after much thought, i have figured out that i would indeed be a pop troll. yes, i love pretty much all of the music types (except classical, yodeling, and country, very very few songs from there) but i know the most songs from pop

i'm still sitting here wondering what boring set youtube has prepared for us is year for the rewind. it's all been going down since 2015, 2016 got in there (barely) bc it featured matpat, mark, ethan, and tyler (and pewds and jack), 2017 gets some points bc it had that one part with the kendrick lamar song and ethan and mark were in there again, but 2018 was a train wreck and 2019 doesn't even count. since we have to social distance rn i'm curious how youtube will take that challenge.

anywho that's it, love you, buh bye!

7/19/20

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