I Hate You

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Dear Awkward Stranger,

I hate you.

No, that's a lie.

I want to hate you.

But no matter how many times I remind myself of the things you did and the things you said I can't bring myself to hate you. I can't even dislike you.

I'm not fond of you, but I don't dislike you. I guess I'm finally indifferent. Which means I'm one step ahead of you. 

I'm listening to the song I put on the side in my last part. I didn't say what it was but it's Amsterdam by Imagine Dragons. I played it for you once, you said you liked it.

I'm scared. I'm going to tell Aiden my secret. The secret I haven't told anyone, the one I couldn't even tell you. You used to get mad because I wouldn't tell you, when you kept so many secrets from me. 

I'm scared to tell him, but I know when I do a huge weight will be lifted off of me. I told him I would tell him next time he comes over, which will either be Saturday or Tuesday because I can't bear to type it and have it in a physical form. 

I haven't even said it to myself. I know what I did but I can't bring myself to say it. Not even in my head. My stupid dumb little head.

I'm really bad at staying on topic. 

I miss you.

I hate you.

~Just Me

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