Yowzah Oneshot Collection (2)

1(G)

the golden pavements laid in requiems

             areyoumarriedriver

Some days nobody lives.

Some days are as far from miraculous as it is possible to get and those are the days she knows he wishes he had no one there, no witnesses, no comforting words, no tears tracking down the faces of friends who can’t understand that he doesn’t always win.

She can still smell the sulphur and ash, the burning smell of hissing flesh and crackling bone. She can still hear the screams, because violent deaths are never quiet. They entered the TARDIS exhausted; a sooty, filthy, sweaty mess of barely restrained emotions. There had been no last minute rescue, no miraculous save, only a sacrifice and an impossible choice they’d been required to make – loud implosions and raging fires and people screaming, crying and falling and falling in slow motion until they made impact with the ground.

She’d gone first – first to push herself off the ground, first to walk back inside because this had been a peaceful planet until twenty minutes ago, and the locals could only stare in shock and horror. He’d shouted her name once, before plunging into the ash and soot after her. She can still feel the heat from the fire on her face, the eerie yellow-orange lighting flickering across their faces as they started the search for survivors.

Rory had organized triage. Amy had pushed people into fire fighting duties until the local fire department had finally shown. But only she and the Doctor had sifted through ash and rubble, searching for survivors and finding corpse after corpse. There had been a handful saved. She found herself hoping that they made it – that someone fought their way to a happy ending, but she wouldn’t be around to see it.

He didn’t speak the entire walk back to the TARDIS. Didn’t look at them, didn’t acknowledge their existence, and didn’t even send them off to their next destination. Instead he disappeared into the bowels of his ship, and Amy and Rory look to her, tears and sweat and soot smeared all over their exhausted faces.

“Will he-” Amy’s the first to whisper into the silence around them and River shakes her head shortly.

“I’ll get us out of here. He...” she shrugs because what can she say? It is clear that this is the first for them – the first devastating, large-scale loss. “You should get some rest.” She says instead, flicking switches and sending them into the vortex silently.

“But what about you?” Rory questions, before glancing over at her with concern. “What about him?”

“All those people.” Amy whispers and her face is blank, even when Rory wraps an arm around her.

“I’ll take care of him, don’t worry. We’ve done this before. You need to take care of her – she’s in shock.” River’s voice is low as she speaks to her father and he nods, his arm tightening around his wife. He doesn’t move right away though.

“How many times before?” His voice is low and strained and she feels tears sting her eyes as she glances over at him.

“He can’t always win. No one can. He’s not a miracle or a god – he’s just a man.” She feels fiercely protective of the man who has left them alone, and even though she loves her father, her hackles rise and she bristles with indignation.

“Okay,” Rory backs off at her tone, holding a hand up in placation. “Okay. I just – are you okay?”

She avoids his gaze and looks up at the monitor. “I will be.” She hedges, and he seems to accept that this is all the answer he’ll get. Amy still doesn’t speak as he leads her up the stairs and down the corridor to their room. She lets out a breath when she is alone, a sob choked in the back of her throat and she presses a shaking hand to her mouth. She only allows herself a moment, because she needs to find the Doctor. She lands them silently, and moves down the corridor herself, following the path he took earlier.