The Red Song

Chapter 18 - Part Two

Ian doesn't say anything on our way back to the city, he just keeps staring ahead while driving. I don't dare say anything either because I don't even know what to say. There must be a million things running through his head right now. To spend so much time thinking he actually killed someone, with this guilt that consumed him for so long. My heart breaks for him. No one deserves this. I wish I could just hold him and tell him everything is gonna be ok, but he has such an intense look on his face, like I'd never seen before. I fear for him, so I decide to give him time to process everything.

As we arrive in the city, we decide to rent a room in a Bed&Breakfast for the night. We find this really beautiful and simple place in midtown, with a beautiful view of the city. When we get to the reception, there's this really old woman with gray hair, she looks to be about 80 years old, but has an adorable smile on her face.

"Hello, welcome!" She says.

"Hello, we would like a room, please..." Ian says coldly while grabbing his wallet from his back pocket, and stops. "... Actually..." He looks at me, like he's trying to ask me if I'd want a room to myself, but I interrupt him.

"Yes, one room is fine." I smile at him and he smiles back, for just a moment, like he felt relieved for me saying that, and then went on with a cold face. He pays for the room in cash. The woman turns around and begins looking for a key among the ones she has on the wall.

"Room 6." The woman handles the key she grabbed to Ian. "At the end of the hall, to give you more privacy." She says, with a smile on her face, and I can actually swear I might have seen her blink at Ian.

I tried not to laugh when Ian grabs the key. "Thank you." He says, nodding.

The room is on the second floor and feels quite cozy. There are yellow wallpapers on the walls and a big bed in the middle, the floor is made of wood and the furniture, as well as the bed, has an antique look to it. It makes me feel comfortable, like I'm home.

"I'm gonna take a shower... to cold my head down. You can order something to eat, if you like. There's money in my wallet." Ian says.

"It's ok, I'm not really hungry." I say, trying to smile.

"Yeah... neither am I." He places a small kiss on my cheek. "I'll be right back." And heads towards the bathroom.

I seat on the bed and sigh, knowing how hard it is going to be for him to get back to his old self. And I can't blame him. I cannot even begin to understand how he must be feeling. He has the total right to be angry. If it were me in his place, I would've broken down by now. I admire the fact that he's trying to control himself, it shows how strong he really is. I wouldn't have this strength at all.

As soon as Ian leaves the bathroom, I enter it to take a shower myself. The hot water feels nice on my skin, calming, relaxing. I decide not to wash my hair because it would take a long time to dry it out, and as much as I know Ian needs time by himself right now, I don't want to leave him alone for too long.

I put on some comfortable clothes, just some shorts and t-shirt and head towards the bed. Ian is seating on it, with his back against the bed's headboard, wearing some band t-shirt and black shorts. His hair is half up and half down, like he just wanted to lock it, without really caring how it would look like. He's staring ahead and he looks so concentrated he barely blinks. His eyes only move to look at me leaving the bathroom, I can sense he's staring at my body again, since my legs are all exposed with these short shorts, and there's almost a trace of smiling on his face. I seat next to him, getting under the blankets and leaning my back against the headboard as well.

I sigh and bite my lip. "Are you okay?" I ask him.

"No..." He pauses. "But I'll be... I just need time to figure this is all out." He has his gaze down.