Planted

The Circle

Misty

"So," Phil began, after the groups had broken off into their separate circles, each taking a quiet corner of the building to begin. "As you may have noticed, this group is made up entirely of seniors." "That's because," he paused, looking up to smile welcomingly, "as we head into the fall of your senior year, many of you will be facing similar challenges and questions as you move into this phase of your life. Misty noticed a small tattoo on the inside of his right wrist, just barely poking out between the end of his weathered L.L. Bean flannel and mess of worn bracelets, probably gifts from kids he mentored, she guessed. He smiles, shifting his gaze equally between the members of the circle. Misty swallowed hard, taking a deep breath. She hadn't planned to apply to any colleges, and even if she got in, and she could never afford to go. Perhaps more importantly, she also had no idea what she wanted to do with her life. After she lost her dad, she thought maybe she'd like to become a counselor, or a social worker or something. But then again, they hadn't been able to save him, and neither had she.

"Alright so," Phil said again, "Let's take a silent moment of reflection to begin, recognizing how special this space that we have created is. Let us hold one another as Jesus holds us, in light and love. Let us set the intention to care deeply, to share honestly, and to support radically, one another this weekend as we delve into some difficult topics. And as always..." he smiles, glancing up. "What is said in the circle, stays in the circle," they all say, in unison.

"To start things off on a light note," he began, leaning forward, elbows resting on his worn Levi's. "What are some of the fears that come up when you think about going into your senior year? And how have you been wrestling, or coping, with those fears?"

"Way to start things off on a light note!" Mel giggled, and the group laughed. Misty loved how Mel could always lighten the mood.

Shifting on the church's brown carpet, Misty thought about what to say. 

"I'm scared of letting down my parents," she heard Tobi say. 

Phil nodded, understandingly. "Thanks for breaking the ice, Tobi. Yes. Expectations. Let's talk about that. Anyone else feel the same way?" 

A bunch of people in the group nodded, and even though it would have aligned with her facade, Misty couldn't bring herself to join them. 

Misty could feel Phil train his gaze on her, warmly. 

"Misty," he said softly, smiling. "What about you?" 

"Uh," she said nervously twiddling with her fingers, staring down at her lap. "I guess I haven't thought so much about it," she admitted, frankly. 

"Maybe I'm scared to..." she heard herself saying, trailing off. 

"Think about it. Maybe I'm scared to let myself admit what I'm feeling." 

The group leaned forward, supportively. 

Misty couldn't believe how accepting these people were. It felt surreal, sometimes. "Wow, that's incredibly brave, Misty," Phil said, and this was followed by a few supportive "mmhmms" from the group.

Later, after lunch, she felt Phil tap her on the shoulder. "Hey Misty," he said, jovially. "Can we talk for a sec?" 

Misty's eyes widened, nervously, her eyes flitting about, searching for any chaos that may have been created by the Chases. He laughed, sympathetically. "No, no" he said, reassuringly, "Nothing like that. A friendly chat. Don't worry."

They rested comfortable in some bean bag chairs in one of the church's small libraries. Early afternoon sunlight streamed in through the window, creating a beautiful stream of light that divided the two of them.