"It's Something" # 3 - Something Twisted: Michael Clifford

Chapter 14: Flaws & All

This cannot be happening.

This cannot be fucking happening.

I dropped the phone, just sitting on the floor, letting the tears fall down my cheek. I wasn’t wailing, just crying. This pain in my chest is making my eyes tear up. I don’t feel like yelling. I feel numb. This numb pain I feel. I can’t react. All I can do is just tear up and sit there.

The phone rang again.

I looked at the caller ID this time and I see the house number.

“MOM?!” I answered in a heart beat but instead, it wasn’t my mom, it was Will, saying, “I’m so sorry, Nat.”

Now with the sound of my brother’s voice, my body began to feel this immense pain in my chest.

I walked out of the room, and was leaning against the hallway wall, crying out to him, “Why, Will...why...”

I’m bawling now. The last time I cried like this was when May said I wasn’t her sister anymore.

“Will, I hate myself...I hate MYSELF.”

“Stop it, Nat!” Will demanded, “Please, dad and I are going to help, okay? We heard everything and we’re gonna set this right!”

“NO!” I shrieked, “No one can help! Can you see, Will?! Being myself just cuts people away from my life! I’m reckless, selfish, and-”

“STOP!” Will yelled out to me which never happens. He never yells at me so this is a shock that made me shut my mouth.

“Natalie, don’t worry. Who you are is something so special. I know you’ve been trying to change, but please. Don’t let this be the reason why...”


“But Will, not even my own mother like who I am. I have to be different now...”

“What..” I heard a voice behind me which made me jump, and shriek, “SHIT!”

When I turned around, I see Michael with his eyes wide open. Ah fuck.

“Lee, whats’ wrong?” Michael asked me, looking worried, “What happened with your mom?”

I couldn’t speak to Michael. I felt so many emotions in my stomach.

“Nat? Are you there?” I heard Will calling out on the phone, then I heard him yelling out, “Mom! Stop! I want to talk to my-”

Then that’s when I heard the phone call hang up. I looked at the phone, feeling empty now. My mom made Will hang up on me.

My mom is willing to go this far to take everything away from me just because I’m happy with my life. She’s willing to take dad and Will away from me and I know May is going to help also.

Two against one.

Let the shunning begin.

“Natalie..” I heard my name, which made me snap back in reality, and looked at Michael.

“Are you okay?” Michael asked me again, and I just shook my head, now sobbing as I covered my face.

Without any other word, I felt his embrace. I snugged my face into his chest as I cried out my pain. Crying like this is odd. No one would embrace me like this. I don’t feel weak or lonesome. When I cry out to Michael, I don’t feel judged or scolded. I feel safe.

We stayed like that for a while. Michael holding me, as I sobbed my heart out. It feels so painful, knowing that my own mom doesn’t accept who I am and what I stand for, or doesn’t even bother to compromise with me. It’s either her way or no way. I should be used to this by now, but this just hurts cause I actually stood up for something and that was Michael.

After what felt like a century, we were know sitting down on the hallway floor, leaning against the wall.

“I feel disgusting...” I said softly, “Gross..even my voice is disgusting.”

It seriously was. It was all raspy and shit.

Looking, feeling, and even now sounding like shit around my boyfriend. GREAT.

“Hey,” Michael put his arm around my shoulders, pulling me close to him, “You are just fine to me.”

“That’s what all boyfriends are supposed to say.”

“Yes, and let me do that because I am one.” Michael pinched my cheek with his cold fingers.

I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder.

“So,” He said, “Are you gonna tell me what’s up now with your mom?”

I took a deep breathe, and nodded, “My mom doesn’t like the fact that I’m dating a rock star.”

“Right...” He nodded, and I continued, “And she wants me to break up with you, but I told her no and stood up for myself, and now she doesn’t want to do anything with me anymore.”

“Woah, woah, what?” Michael looked at me but I just looked forward as I nodded, “Yeah, so she pretty much cut me off of her life also, and will try to cut everyone in my family away from me also.”

“Nat, she can’t do that..”

“Mi,” I stood away from him, looking at him and he had this shock expression in his face, “She can do whatever she wants. She’s my mom.”

“But you’re her daughter.” Michael faced forward to me, and I nodded and bitterly said, “Not her only daughter. I’m the youngest daughter. The rebellious one. The one that causes the problems in the family. The daughter that’s nothing like the older daughter and can never be good enough compared to her. The-”


“NATALIE.” Michael lunged towards me and placed his hands on my shoulders with wide open eyes, “Stop it.”

“But-”

“Why are you like this all of the sudden?”

I sucked in my breathe, “It’s not all of the sudden, Michael.” I pushed his hands away, “This is me. This is who I am really. Cut away my witty remarks and sarcastic attitude, and you have this insecure low life who is constantly in her sister’s shadow.”

That’s when he became dead silent. All he did was look at me with wide eyes, and his mouth was shut.

I took a deep breathe, “This is why I didn’t want you to get to know my family in any way because this is who I really am. My family is not great. If you thought Lani’s family life was crazy then mine is twisted, Michael. My sister considers me as a low life stranger, while my mom sees me as now the rebellious child that doesn’t deserve to be part of the family anymore. My brother is a party addict but seems to care for me more than my sister would ever do, and my dad is dead silent who doesn’t have the balls to stand up to my mom. I am apparently a famous person at Europe because of my parents, so hearing my name would cause media to explode there. I don’t even know, that’s what my grandparents told me. I am constantly under my sister’s shadow since she’s perfect at every single DAMN thing she does and my passion is a distraction or that’s what my mom stated.”

He was still quiet, even after my huge out burst. I don’t blame him. This is A LOT to take in.

“I don’t blame you if you want to break up with me after this...” I sighed and leaned my back against the wall, “I would do the same. My mom would probably give me a huge ‘I told you so’ speech to me if we break up.”

“Okay,” I felt a sudden pull on my arm, “Now that’s something I will never happen.”

I looked at Michael and he continued, “Natalie, I don’t care about all that. I wanted to meet your family because I want to let you know that I’m serious about you. Even though I didn’t know about this side of you, I told you that I’m looking forward to every single thing about you, Nat. I don’t care if you’re twisted in a way, that shows me that you’re the strongest person I had every encountered. You’re witty remarks and sarcasm makes me laugh all the time, so who you are is not even a bother to me. I love you, Natalie. All of you, flaws and all.”

I couldn’t help but smile at him.

He made a barfed sound and grinned, “That is probably the most cheesiest thing I had ever said. Enjoy the moment.”

I wish my mom knew this about Michael.

He always manages to love me even after that huge confession. The way he looks at me didn’t change one bit, and what happened earlier was nearly forgotten at the moment.

“I get you want to change, Nat,” Michael scooted closer to me and cupped my cheek, “But please don’t forget who are. Just improve, don’t be someone you’re not, and you’re definitely like what your mom and sister want you to be.”

I held his hand that was on my cheek, “Improve, huh?”

Michael nodded with a soft smile, “I don’t want you to change into someone you’re not. I love just the way you are, and so does the others. If you show off more of who you are, you would see who would adore who you are, instead of pretending to fit in.”

“Do you really think people would adore my attitude and sarcasm?” “

“I mean,” Michael did a cute shrug, “If Lani, Ro, the guys and I adore it, then others can too.”

I sighed, and closed my eyes, “That’s true...”

Then within a second, the door opened and Ro ran out, yelling, “NAT!”

“Right here, Ro.” I held up hand, closing my eyes even tighter. Damn your timing.

“Oh!” She gasped at the sight of us, and squinted at me, knowing she disturbed us, “Sorry, but your brother called me.”

I stood up, and asked, “What happened?”

“Your not gonna like it.”

I held her shoulders, “Tell me!”

“Okay, okay,” she sighed and said, “He and your dad managed to calm down your mom and sister..”

“Yes!” I cheered, but she stopped me, saying, “BUT!”

“Damn,” I groaned, “There’s a but...”

“And this but is terrible.”

“Heh..” I heard Michael chuckled behind me, “A terrible but.”


“Oh shush!” I slapped his arm, and looked at Ro, “What’s the but?”

“But, your mom wants to personally meet Michael..”

“So..?” I seriously don’t like where this is going.

“So, your parents, May and Will are all coming to London to visit you and meet Michael face to face..”


Shit.

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HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!

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I love you guys so much, you have no idea. I wish you all good luck next year, and I hope you have a wonderful new year! Stay safe, and let's all celebrate the last day of 2014!

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Love & Rockets, Escapism a.k.a jam