Just Another Day At The Office

55 2 2
                                              

"I'm dating another Satyr. Yes. Yes, I am. There I said it."

If it was even physically possible, with this statement, Janie sat even more erect in the large, green, velvet wingback. Janie, as they would say, was as straight as a board and walked with such perfect posture, one would think that she carried an invisible book on her head.

"My apologies Janie. Let me get this straight. Did you say you were dating another Satyr?"

"Yes Doctor, another Satyr. Are you shocked by this?" Janie's voice raised slightly in pitch when the word 'by' left her lips.

"No Janie. I wouldn't say that I'm shocked." Said Doctor X. "You've been my patient long enough now, that being shocked isn't really the kind of reaction your confessions create. I'm just... disappointed. I feel like we've regressed a bit here."

Janie continued on as if the doctor had said absolutely nothing at all.

"Yes. I know I know, but before you say it before you ask me how could I be dating a Satyr after my dating fiasco with Incci. Especially, since he had the two (now whispering) you know? Which of course if rare for a Satyr, well I just can't help myself. I do love myself a half-man, half horny goat"

After the words were said, Janie looked away and tried to cover up her giggle. The doctor could not decide if it was out of embarrassment or for effect. Janie had been his patient for almost six months now. Seeing him three times a week, one hour each visit. Janie always arrived at three o'clock on the dot. She was never late and never missed an appointment. Each time their visits got more frustrating. Janie was obsessed with dating bad boys or in this case bad woodland Gods. Currently, her thing was Satyrs.

Without looking up from his notepad, he responded, "When you say 'you know', are you talking about the one with the two penises?

Loudly, Janie giggled out a 'yes'. Her giggles, to Doctor X, always seemed to be a dreaded mix of childlike innocence and insanity. These giggles somewhat reminded him of a person and a time, he most desired to forget. Each time Janie giggled, it pulled a piece of buried memories, back up to the surface.

As Janie giggled out a second yes, the doctor involuntarily cringed and gave one of the many long sighs he was accustomed to repeating during sessions with her. Having to listen to the same issues over and over again was wearing on him. He felt that Janie and the other patients were beneath him. That his education, his experience, everything he worked so hard to achieve, was all now a waste. It frustrated him that he was in this small square room. A room with only one window, two chairs, a small desk, and no air. He wasn't even allowed to crack the window for fear one of his patients might make a quick exit. The fact that the patients took up half of the air in the room, he would personally be ok with their not so unfortunate exit. However, he continually needed to remind himself, that he was the one that put him in this position. He was the only one to blame for his current circumstance. As he was fading too far into his own dark thoughts, he was brought back with a jolt of electricity in the form of one of Janie's squeals.

"Right. Your problems. As I've said each and every session. In order to begin to feel better about yourself, you need to break your bad habit of..."

"Of what? What are my bad habits exactly?"

Doctor X, started grinding his teeth again. How he hadn't worn away all of the enamel was beyond comprehension. Loosening his jaw, he continued. "Well for one, stop interrupting me. Secondly, stop dating."
"Stop dating Satyrs?"
"No. Just stop dating, period. It would save you from coming here weekly and me the aggravation of hearing the same issue every, goddam, BLOODY WEEK!"

Doctor X: PsychologistWhere stories live. Discover now