(18) Love vs. Lust

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At around seven o’clock I started getting really inpatient. Conner had been gone for most of the day and I wished he would come back so that I could get my phone.  Sometime after I stopped crying I started looking forward to talking to Gordon. I just hope that by the time Conner got home it wasn’t too late.

When half past seven came I was fed up with waiting so I decided to phone Conner from the home phone and demand that he bring my stuff home. He answered his phone immediately and told me that he was on his way. He arrived a few minutes later.

“Cole is really upset about what happened…” Conner started saying but I cut him off. I didn’t want to hear it. Like I said, it was over between the two of us so it didn’t really matter.

“I don’t care!” I half yelled grabbing my things from him.

“Come on Gabby, you need to hear this” Conner pleaded sounding frustrated.

“No” I stated stubbornly shaking my head. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say.

“It’s not…” Conner started saying but I cut him off again.

“Shut up!” I yelled feeling tears starting to sting my eyes again.

I didn’t give him time to talk again. I turned around and ran upstairs. When I was safely in my room I locked the door behind me and fell down on my bed crying again while cursing myself for being so stupid. I heard my mom’s car pull up in the driveway but I didn’t bother going downstairs to say hi. I crawled back in under the sheets and was about to close my eyes and try to sleep when my phone rang.

My heart skipped a beat as I realized who it was that might be phoning me. I had no idea why I was reacting that way about a phone call but it didn’t matter. I welcomed the feeling, it was much better then feeling depressed and sad about Cole.

“Hi” I answered hoping that it was Gordon.

“Hi, how’s the ankle?” He asked causing me to smile immediately. I don’t know how he did it but this boy sure had some effect on me. Just hearing his voice made me smile.

“It still hurts but I can walk on it” I answered honestly. My ankle has been paining throughout the day but it was the least of my worries.

“That’s sad” he said jokingly.

“Why?” I asked playing along. He really is strange but it was refreshing.

“Well, I was hoping you would be off your feet for a while so that I could play superhero and give you a ride to school tomorrow” He laughed. I giggled in amusement.

“I might be able to walk but you can still be my hero and give me a lift, I don’t have a car and I don’t feel like driving with my brother” I said honestly. I was going to be avoiding Conner for a while.  I know he didn’t do anything wrong but he was already coming up for Cole and I didn’t want to hear any of it.

“Seriously?” He asked sounding surprised.

“Yip, you’ll be my night it shining armor” I replied wondering why he sounded so shocked.

We talked for a while, just joking around and laughing a lot. It was fun talking to him, he made me feel better. When he hung up I missed the sound of his voice immediately. I felt lonely and depressed all by myself with only my thoughts to keep me company.

It took me a while to fall asleep and when I woke up the next morning I still felt like crap. I got dressed in some faded jeans, a pink tank top and pink slip on shoes. I didn’t feel like putting on makeup but my eyes were so puffy and red that I didn’t really have a choice.

Once I was done I looked a bit better, I only hoped that nobody at school noticed that I’ve been crying. I didn’t go downstairs to get breakfast, I just stayed in my room. I didn’t feel like talking to my brother or lying to my mother about what happened over the weekend since she had no idea what was going on.

I heard Cole’s car pull up in the driveway but I didn’t allow myself to look outside. I didn’t want to see him.

“Come on Gabby, were leaving!” Conner called as he ran passed my bedroom door. I didn’t answer him. After about five minutes there was a knock at my door.

“What?” I asked checking my cell phone to see what the time was. There was still plenty time before I would be late.

“Were leaving for school” Conner said sounding irritated.

“Ok, I’ll see you there” I replied trying to stay calm.

“And how exactly do you plan on getting there?” he asked impatiently.

“A friend’s giving me a lift” I replied walking over to the window and looking outside. Cole was staring directly at my window.

“Who?” Conner asked, I could hear he was getting angry. I was still looking outside and saw when Gordon pulled up outside the house. I grabbed my back pack and ran to the door opening it.

“Doesn’t matter, I have to go” I said as I closed my door and ran passed him.

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