since we were 18 » stylinson

six

they were only kids, just tryna work it out. harry was only 17 when called a womanizer, louis only 18 when pushed into the depth of a closet, forced to keep his mouth shut, but put on a brave smile until it eventually faded away with the years.

the two were destined to be together; the concert in 2008, the band contest in 2009, the x-factor in 2010 .. fate is a crazy thing, but it sure as hell is real.

sometimes it felt like they met each other at the wrong time. what would have happened if they never went to the x-factor? would they have met again anyway? louis always said to harry that he would've found him anyway. and harry always believed him.

not in their wildest dreams could they have imagined that everything could go so wrong so fast. that so many people are against them and want to keep them away from each other. there were many sleepless nights when they did nothing but cry, wanting to be free and themselves.

ten years, a whole decade. it was crazy and a hard time. tears have been shed and hearts have been broken. they were pretending to be someone who they weren't and it was slowly killing them.

begging for mercy at night with tears in his eyes while praying has become very natural for louis. he wasn't openly showing his emotions a lot, so when everyone was asleep - or thought everyone was asleep - he let everything out that he has been bottling up over the day.

harry has seen, or heard, him more than once having a mental breakdown at night. he was hearing louis' heartbreaking sobs and words that made him cry too. he heard that louis would much rather see harry happy than being happy himself. and harry wanted the complete opposite.

he wanted to see louis happy, genuinely happy. it was the only thing that harry wanted. he wanted his husband to be happy no matter what. he wanted louis to smile and laugh, he wanted him to be himself and to be open, even if it would mean that harry had to suffer.

but now it was going alright, not good, but just fine. and that was enough for both of them. they were just glad that the hiding is over and that the filming would finally start tomorrow.

sophie muller would be directing the 18 music video. she was also the director of the perfect music video. harry and louis already told her their ideas and she immediately agreed.

they still had to convince niall about the tattoo, but else everything was going good. they would start filming at princess park and head over to fountain studios, where the x-factor is filmed. then they would fly to boston, so they can film at boston common, just walking around holding hands. after that shoot, they would be flying straight to west hollywood. the flight would be about 5 hours long, so they have a little time to rest.

in hollywood they are getting their tattoos. after this, they are heading back to london and the filming would be done. of course all of the boys would be in the music video, too.

harry and louis are also thinking about asking ben winston to help directing. he was the director of the you&i music video and he did great work. to that, they were all good friends.

but right now, they were in bed. it was 11:38am and they were both awake, but still half asleep, and cuddling. harry's alarm went off an hour and a half ago, but louis didn't wanted to get up. and - for once - harry didn't wanted to either.

so now they were still in bed, louis' head was on top of his husband's chest, while harry was tracing his fingers down louis' back, then his left arm, which was slung around his waist. louis was lazily drawing random patterns on harry's bare skin and smiled when he heard him silently humming.

"what's that?" louis asked and looked up to see into harry's eyes. "what?" he asked back and smiled softly, pushing louis' fringe out of his face. "what're you humming? new song?" louis inquired and pressed a quick kiss on harry's chest.

harry just nodded and tightened his grip around louis' waist. "mind telling me what it's about?" he asked sleepily and closed his eyes again, continuing to draw random patterns on harry's skin, which was soothing him a lot. "well" harry started, "it's about us. our tattoos. that we fit together like puzzles and that we're our missing piece. that we just belong together, there's no other way."

there was silence in the room, no one said anything. a few minutes passed and louis still didn't said anything. harry was looking at him, but he was just staring at the wall with a blank face expression.

louis then slowly turned to look at his husband with tears in his eyes. "harry.." he cut himself off and sat up, not looking into harry's eyes anymore. the curly haired boy sat up too, pulling his husband into his chest. "it's okay, i'm here. we're alright, okay? it's going to be just fine, don't worry, boo" he mumbled and pressed a kiss on his head.

"harry, i love you" louis sobbed and clung onto his shirt. "i don't wanna lose you, baby, please stay with me. don't leave me."

harry furrowed his brows and hugged louis tighter. "i'm not leaving, boo. i will never ever leave" he assured his husband and rocked them back and forth, just holding louis to show him that he's not going anywhere.

louis just continued to sob and soaked harry's shirt with his tears. they stayed like this for a few more minutes, until louis cleared his throat. he started talking, he spoke quietly, but harry could hear him nonetheless; every single word like they were his own.

"i had a dream. a bad dream. you just left. you took everything you had, you didn't looked at me or reacted to me yelling at you. you just packed your stuff and left. you slammed the door, started the car and drove away." louis looked up to see harry's reaction.

"lou.." harry mumbled and kissed him shortly, "you're everything i have. and i love you." louis nodded and buried his face in the crook of harry's neck. "i was just so scared, you know? it seemed so real and i can't fucking live without you, hazza, i just can't" louis said and was on the verge of tears again.

"boo, look at me" harry said softly. louis nodded and looked at harry. he just cupped his husband's jaw, his deep green eyes staring at these blue eyes. harry could see that louis was done with everything, that he just wanted to sleep and the nightmare to be over. "i'm in love with you, louis" harry whispered and got closer to louis' lips, "i don't just love you. i'm in love with you. i'm not going anywhere. you're all i have. i'm nothing without you, you complete me."

then they kissed like they never kissed before. the feeling was indescribable, it was pure love. the kiss tasted like tears and they were sure that it wouldn't be the last time that their kisses would taste like salt. there would be surely more to come. but as long as they're together, everything would be alright.

it felt like home. and it felt good.

streams walls. :)
i'm so so so sorry for not updating, butttt here you go hehe.

edited!