Sincerely, Clo

Chapter 1

hello(: 

this is the first time i wrote in a guy's perspective so forgive me if it doesn't sound like a guy at all. 

big thanks to isasecret, who made the cover~

and also, big thanks to letterbyowl, who made the banner (look at the side)~

******

copyright © 2012 by makeawishh (aka. chloe)

all rights reserved. no portion of this book may be reproduced or used in any matter whatsoever without a written permission of the author. 

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"The hardest part is what to leave behind...it's time to let go."

-Winnie the Pooh

Present Day. August 7, 2012. Junior Year. 

I stand in front of my bathroom mirror, fumbling and unsuccessfully trying to make a necktie knot with my tie.

Man, how does Clo make it look so easy? All she did was some loops and cross-overs and one last pull, and there it is, a perfectly made necktie knot. 

Why doesn't this work for me? 

I glance over at the black clip-on tie that's hanging on the doorknob. Should I just give up and wear a clip-on? But if Clo see me wearing a clip-on tie, she'll rip it out of my collar and will wrap a real tie around my neck, gracefully putting it into a knot. And she'll say, "I like guys wearing real ties. It shows that they make an effort to look good. Clip-ons are for lazy assholes. Besides, real ties looks better than clip-ons."

I toss the clip-on tie away from my sight and remind myself that today wasn't just any ordinary day. Today, I have make Clo proud and happy. I have to make sure everthing is perfect, everything is in the way Clo likes it. I want Clo to be happy before she leaves. 

I look at the tiny Winnie the Pooh phone accessory that Clo hung on my phone. She loved Winnie the Pooh. I pretend that it was Clo, telling me to keep on trying. 

I won't give up. 

I tap on the replay button for the YouTube video that's been trying to teach me on tying my tie for the past hour. The dull male voice, once again, fill up the tiny bathroom. 

"Hello. I'm here to teach you how to tie a tie. Tying a tie is, in fact, very easy. First, you..."

***

After replaying the video for another seventeen times, I finally made a decent looking necktie knot. Clo would be extremely proud of me. She would give me that warm big smile of hers and would give me one of her hugs. 

"I'm so proud of you, Kyle." She would say and this warm, fuzzy feeling will start to appear inside my heart and I would wish we can stay like that, forever and ever. 

A lump the size of a tennis ball starts to reach my throat. I quickly try to swallow it back down. Don't, Kyle. Not now, not now. You'll see Clo soon. Clo hates when people starts having a mental breakdown in front of her. She'll end up heartbroken too. You don't want that to happen, right? 

I quickly turn my focus at the mirror and make sure my complexion is perfect. My brown hair is neatly combed and knot-free. I made extra sure that it was a little bit messy, since Clo likes it better that way. My eyes are still puffy and red from crying for a few weeks but it look well-rested and the black circles are starting to fade away. My face is free from dried tear and I attempt to smile, something that I haven't been doing very often for the past few weeks. Clo likes it when I smile. She told me when I smile, it makes her smile too. She looks beautiful when she smiles. 

I slip my phone into my pocket and exit the bathroom. I walk downstairs to meet with my parents, who are with Clo's parents. Our parents are pretty close with one another, ever since Clo and I met in kindergarten. We would celebrate Christmas and Thanksgiving and birthdays together. Clo's parents are like another set of Mom and Dad for me, just like how my parents are like another set of Mom and Dad for Clo. 

They all raise their heads to look at me as I walk down the stairs. 

"Are you ready, Kyle?" Mom asks as she look at me with a concern look in her eyes. Her eyes, too, are red from crying. 

Am I? Am I ready to attend to Clo's funeral and...and let her go? 

But she was my neighbor, my best friend since I was five.

She was the love of my life. 

I want her to be here with me, forever and ever. 

But I have to let her go. 

I take a deep breath and my grip on the staircase handrail tightens. 

And I nod.