familiar sins come crashing in and sever forever and after

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okay i finally saw hamilton, after years of actively avoiding the soundtrack, fanfics, fanart, and just the entire fandom. and i have to say...definitely do not understand the fandom still but that's okay bc the musical (movie??) was freaking awesome. the reason i still don't fully understand the fandom is bc in my head, i still only see the characters as history figures, which they are. like yes, laurens and hamilton were definitely having their own affair as well but that was more so the actors' portrayal and the writing/directing, not actual history. so i don't see why or how people can ship the characters or write them into high school scenarios. it's almost like shipping abraham lincoln with hannibal hamlin or andrew johnson, it's really freaking weird. AND not to mention, a lot of the fans are really annoying or close minded. i've had many encounters with fans over the years and some of them were constantly breaking out into song which normally i don't mind bc hello theater kid here but they'd do it while i was in the middle of talking (not just me actually, other people too) and they'd almost murder me for saying i wasn't really that into it, almost like bts fans :) and as for close minded, a lot of fans use hamilton like a cheat sheet like "oh my gosh, alexander and thomas were my faves, they were definitely the best." um no. hamilton still had a kid with a free african american woman before marrying (so that's up to you whether or not she wanted it or if he even helped them out) and thomas was still a slave owner and he didn't do as much as he could have for the slavery cause, same thing with george washington. y'all need to remember this is a musical, it's not entirely fact, and most of those characters were white slave owners who were comfortable with raping and stealing land from natives. so that's my take. honestly i did love jonathan groff's performance, hate the king, but love jonathan :)

also hairspray is my life. i barely realized yesterday just how much that movie has meant to me while growing up. i basically quoted the whole thing, yes there were parts that i didn't know but that's what makes it fun. and i remembered i totally wanted to be seaweed, he just entranced me with how flirty he was and how he got these women he was my idol. but of course no one could beat the queen, miss tracy turnblad. nikki blonski, who played tracy, came out as gay and i have a greater appreciation for hairspray now. i also had the hugest crush on motormouth maybelle, beautiful woman. actually anytime queen latifah shows up. i loved her on chicago, scary movie 3, girls trip, the list goes on.

anyways today wasn't very productive, i woke up at 4:30 and now it's 10 so i've been awake for almost 18 hours now and i need to sleep. that's it, i mainly chose this song bc it gave me hamilton vibes, i think i might like nelle more than nessa?? whatever, buh bye!

7/7/20

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