Life is cruel. Life is hard. Life is hell. Life is many things and good is not one of those things.... For me anyway. I hate life, I have nothing in this world. I have no one to live for. I have no in this world for me. I used to have someone. That man was my knight and shining armour. He was my world. He was able to make me smile and laugh even on the gloomiest days. But now he has been gone for 8 years and 351 days. Every day it is another day, another minute and another second of him not being here. for me being alone. For me not having my father. Although it has been 8 years it still feels like yesterday.
He was my father, he was my everything. When I was a newborn baby someone put me in a suitcase and threw me in a bin in an abandoned lonely alleyway in London. I should have died and suffocated but I didn't. John Carmon just so happened to be walking past the alleyway when he heard the newborn baby crying. He was startled by the crying and searched for the crying. When he saved the baby, he vowed to love and care for the baby as his own. That baby was me. From that day on he became my father, my hero and I became his bumblebee. The only thing I had was a blanket with the name Breanna written on it. So, from that day on I became Breanna Carmon.
Not knowing my real last name. But I don't care, that man was my family. My only family. He took me home to his wife Margaret Carmon. Margaret wasn't that thrilled with me she never wanted children but since her husband was so in love with me she let it be. And let him take me in as his own daughter. Since John has connections through the police force he was able to adopt me and give me his name. He didn't want to do a background check or anything because he didn't want to take the risk of me going back to the people who abandoned me in a trash can.
The next five years we grew up doing everything together. From going to the park and playing together. To sitting drinking cups of tea While playing chess next to the warm cosy fire. He taught me how to play the piano and passed his passion for music down to me. I was very diligent and smart for a five-year-old. John was always so amazed about how talented I was on the piano and often praised and counted me on being a piano prodigy. I loved music it has always being my passion and my dream. John had to always force me away from the piano and tickle me to death if I refused.
Even though I called Margaret mother she never really loved or cared about me. she was always so jealous that I got all the attention from father. It was always awkward when John left for work because Margaret never talked or took care of me. she would just leave 7-year-old me by myself alone. I always miss John throughout the day. John worked as a police officer and worked really hard because he was always trying to get enough money for me and Margaret. Even though I hated that he was always working so much I always looked up to him. As to me, he was a hero saving people every day. To me he was truly a knight in shining armour.
I remember how heartbroken I was when I heard a knock on the door. Margaret opened it and two officers were there looking sympathetic and sad. That was the day my father died. John died jumping in front of a boy saving the boy from being shot. He died a hero... My hero died that day. And my hero that day on left me heartbroken and shattered.
A year later Margaret met a vicious and vile man called Mike Williams. I was surprised that Margaret kept me because she never liked me but I think it's only because of John. Mike is more than a nightmare. He is the monster that haunts you under the bed. The monster that only comes out at night to haunt you. The monster who hurts you only Satan himself knows how. Margaret knew he was abusing me but she never did anything about it. she never cared she only ever accused me of lying when I tried telling her. Soon enough she started joining in herself. My life turned from a living nightmare to a living in hell. I grew up broken. I grew up only knowing pain. I grew up only looking forward to sleep and music. I loved sleeping because in my dreams I would always dream of John saving me and me and him being a family again. Music always brought me closer to John, to my father. It helped me ease the pain in my heart and release my grief and sorrow.
8 years and 351 days later and I am 15 years old. I am still the same girl I was when I was 7 on the inside. But on the outside, I am a cold-hearted bitch who hates everyone. People either think I am a low life freak or I am just a poor troubled teenager. At school, I am viewed as the school's cold-hearted bad girl. Girls are either jealous of me or angry at me while boys are either lustful or jealous that they can't be with me. I don't give anyone the time of day and I am viewed as not a nice person. But do I care? Fuck no!
"Miss Carmon please pay attention"! Mr Dickson gritted out narrowing his blue eyes. "Can't I don't want to die of boredom". I yawned stretching my arms. "Then detention".
"As much as I would love to spend my afternoon next to your grumpy old ass I have better things to do". I rolled my eyes sarcasm dripping into every word. The boys all snickered while the girls stared at me like I was crazy. "Principles office now". He yelled pointing towards the door. "I must say Mr Dickson that this has probably being a record". I look at the clock and then smile. "20 minutes very impressive". I winked at him. His face was red and his nostrils were flaring. "toddles". I cheer before I walked out of the classroom with my things. I wasn't even going to go to the principal's office I was walking right out of school. I walk towards where I always go to the car junkyard.
You may think I am crazy but there is a spot there that I quite like. I chuck my bag in a car and climb up the pile of cars. Since its London, you don't get the best view but up here you can see all the people walking by and cars driving through the streets. The air is always so fresh here and the wind blows through my fawn hair freely. Finally letting myself relax at the only place I feel free.
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Letting go of painTeen Fiction
Being thrown away in the garbage in a dark alleyway in London when she was only a baby, she should have died that day... But she didn't.. instead, a man saved her. He brought her in and saved her, fed her, bathed her, raised her and more importantly...