(Qannen) getting fingered in the changing room

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It's a beautiful day at Target. Rows and rows of amazing new opportunities for compelling brand interactions. This is Qannen slumming it; she can't remember the last time she was in a Target, even ironically. Although you could make the case she's here artistically, but you know what: for people who don't have a lot of followers, Target is an important public service. Think about how lucky the people of Wood2 are to have places like CVS and Target and Chili's, where anyone can go regardless of how many followers they have, and find a good deal and a meaningful brand interaction even if they're not popular and no one really knows who they are. Like for instance your hot new boyfriend who has zero, basically less than zero followers, and literally no brand to speak of except for cute hair.

The atmosphere in Target is stale and musty, the clothing racks a little overcrowded and more than a little disorganized, the lighting slightly not as flattering as it could be. Qannen longs to feel nostalgic about it, but she's never in her life had few enough followers for Target to be a meaningful touchstone for her, beyond the low-level reverence she feels for all brands. Really she's just trying to find some semi-decent clothes for Dzzahn to be seen in, so the plan is to get in and get out.

Dzzahn follows quietly behind Qannen as she hops from rack to rack in the Masc end of the spectrum. She tried to push him more towards Femme but that was a no. Whatever, gotta start somewhere. She's highly focused, hoping against hope that she maybe she can at least find a mis-filed Pwnershi1p or something.

Dzzahn is: overwhelmed and amazed. A store. Where you can pick out your clothes. Where you have options! To choose from! He barely even notices Qannen holding shirts up to his chest, making vomiting noises, throwing them on the floor, dashing to the next rack where she repeats the process again.

At one point Qannen catches him looking at the TargetxLemonhunny section and misreads his blank stare for longing. "Yeah, I know," she says. "We could fuck that synergy UP if you just had a screen. But don't worry I'll find something and we'll make it work."

"I'm not. Worried," Dzzahn says, blinking back to the present.

"HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT ALL THE WAY THE FUCK UP???" someone yells, and Qannen sees it's a girl with her screen out and recording, and yes she is apparently talking to Qannen.

"Ummm excuse?" Qannen asks, ready to fight if this is about to be a fight. Her screen reveals the yeller as FinaLDaddY, 87k followers, and part of the Trrashiclandom. Not an immediate threat.

"Qannen??? I can't believe you're here? Alive? At Target? Amazing? I'm so glad?"

"Me too, right?"

"Like we were so worried you were dead? Or really upset about your sister?"

There's a crowd drawing over now. 3 people, then 8, then 19 Target shoppers all with their screens drawn and pointed at Qannen.

"I'm always upset about my sister," Qannen says, dodging and smiling. "But no, not dead, just exploring the really great fashion opportunities that Target always provides."

"But like why are you here? Oh is it because today's the anniversary of that night at Cryomoon when you and Qynka threw up on those girls who worked at Target? We were going to do a memorial fic post but the fandom is, lately, I mean?" FinaLDaddY sighs, heavily. She seems to be fighting back tears. "Your sister is actively destroying everything we've built."

"Ummmmm welllll," Qannen says, stalling for time while her brain calculates approximately 417 different responses, knowing that she is being filmed and knowing that most of the possible responses are likely to blow up in ways she absolutely cannot deal with right now. She completes her calculations. "Just helping my boyfriend pick out some news clothes."

"WHAT???" FinaLDaddY screams. The crowd behind her takes a small step closer, focuses their screens a little higher. This is News. "WHAT BOYFRIEND???"

"Dzzahn," Qannen says. "He's right here." She motions to the space next to her. FinaLDaddY looks to where Qannen is indicating and sees, suddenly, that there is a person there, blinking back at her. She screams, terrified, and almost falls over. The whole crowd takes a step back, refocusing their screens on him. A murmur of disbelief and shock passes across them.

"There's no one there," someone in the crowd says. "But do you see him? There's no one there but there's literally like someone there."

"What the fuck is going on has he been standing there this whole time?" FinaLDaddY asks.

Dzzahn looks at Qannen. Qannen looks at Dzzahn expectantly and nods like Answer.

"Um yeah, hi," Dzzahn says.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" FinaLDaddY looks around behind her to make sure everyone else is seeing him. "IS THIS HAPPENING?" She looks from her screen to him and back to her screen and back to him. Then she takes a step forward and reaches out, slowly. She makes contact with his arm and pokes him, pressing hard into his skin, then jerks her finger back to examine it. Her finger seems fine so she reaches back out and touches him so more, grabbing him, touching him all over. Other people join in and do the same.

Qannen spots a pair of shoes a nearby girl is holding. She swaps it out for a t-shirt but the girl, too busy staring at Dzzahn, doesn't seem to notice or mind.

"Umm what's happening here?" Dzzahn asks.

"Ummm what iS happening???" FinaLDaddY asks, touching the one dangly lock of hair that keeps falling over Dzzahn's eyes.

"I promise he exists," Qannen says, flipping through the rack, pulling out a t-shirt, deciding to hang on to it.

"Can we take a pic?" FinaLDaddY asks.

"I don't know, can we?" Dzzahn asks.

FinaLDaddY turns around, puts her back to Dzzahn. She's shaking, fearful, but she holds her screen up and smiles and takes the picture. Then she steps back and examines the photo and inhales sharply. "OMG IT WORKED HE'S REAL," she says, holding her screen out to the crowd. "There's literally a actual boy there do you see him?"

The crowd has gotten a lot larger now. There's multiple zonnys circling overhead. Dzzahn can overhear people arguing whether he's real or not, while they touch his hair, poke his chest.

"He's like here? But he's also not???" someone says, grabbing Dzzahn's butt.

"His brand isn't showing up on my screen so no way is he real," someone else says.

"Umm," Dzzahn says, trying to stay close to Qannen.

"Omg I can't believe he's real, he's sooo hot," FinaLDaddY says. "What's his @ though?"

"We don't date boys with @'s," Qannen says.

FinaLDaddY looks at Qannen in horror. "Wait we don't?"

"Can you all excuse us?" Qannen asks, handing a pile of clothes to Dzzahn and pulling him through the crowd. "He needs to try these on and finger me in the changing room."

"Oh of course, of course," FinaLDaddY says. "Art is so important and healing."

"Totally that," Qannen says.

The crowd parts, just wide enough for them to walk through, everyone reaching out to lay their hands on Dzzahn and whisper omg no way as he passes.

The crowd and the zonnys follow Qannen to the changing area. Qannen finds an empty room and takes the clothes from Dzzahn, hanging them up.

"Uh did I hear you say something about getting fingered in the changing room?"

"Yeah. Honestly it feels so good to get back into my creative projects, you know?"

"But everyone's going to be right outside."

"Yeah don't worry, they'll still be able to see everything," Qannen says, pointing to the zonny watching overhead.

"But." Dzzahn has a lot of questions but the only one that emerges is: "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Qannen says. She pulls Dzzahn into the changing room and starts taking her top off. "To raise awareness."

///

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