6. Messing it up again🌾...

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"Why Shivaay? Why?" She cried

"Please don't tell that, I just wanted to...." he tried.

"No shivaay, nothing is right with me and it never will be. It has always been the same with my fate and will continue to be" She sobbed.

"Please listen to me for once. I didn't know how you'd react to that fact about meeting a psychologist Annika" Shivaay tried meekly gripping both her hands.

"So you simply took me there even without informing me. You think I've gone that mad to simply not understand anything at all Shivaay" She sobbed trying to pull her hands away. The way she used the words mad, mentally unstable, sobbing or belittling herself were undoing Shivaay. He couldn't hold it anymore. He felt broken, this was all happening only because of him and he felt that his Annika would never forgive h for this. He had never seen her being this nonchalant of him and not paying any heed to him. His one "sorry" ,"please" or his world famous puppy eyes always melted her. But today he knew he had messed up with the wrong nerve. He had taken away her self right and cheated her in a way. And being the independent, empowered woman Annika was she'd never forgive him. He felt helpless.

"Annika if you will not understand your Shivaay, then who would understand him?" Shivaay questioned caressing her face.

"Did you understand your Annika Shivaay?" Annika retorted back. Wiping away her tears she tried to get up.

"Annika I couldn't bear whatever you were going through. I just wanted you to be alright. I just couldnt see whatever you were going through. It makes me restless to see you suffering. I know what i did was wrong to have not told you, I know no explanation would justify it. But I didn't know how you'd react. I didn't want to hurt you Annika. You are my life Annika" Shivaay confessed sincerely.

"So you thought that what you did wouldn't hurt me. You thoght that it was perfect to have taken me there without my permission. And that I'd very happily agree to it. This hurt me more Shivay. If you'd have explained me after a little pampering I'd have readily agreed to meet the psychologist Shivaay. Have I ever outrightly rejected anything you asked of me Shivaay. I might argue but I do not have the strength in me to say no to you Shivaay. Did you fail in understanding me Shivaay? Don't you understand me anymore Shivaay?"

"Annika please don't say that" Shivaay begged

"Has this illness or you can call it madness started bothering you Shivaay? Have I become a burden on you? You know what hurt me the most?, not you doing something without my knowledge but the very thought that ive become a burden on you, which I never want to or intend to?"

Each word Annika was speaking was piercing Shivaay right in his heart. He felt blood rushing in, he was becoming angry now. How could she use call herself mentally unstable? How could she use the word burden? Can ones own breath be a burden on a man? He clenched his hands into a fist

"Stop calling yourself that Annika. I don't wish to hear another word" Shivay commanded

"Now my talking also has started irritating you right Shivaay? I don't wanna be a block on you or your life Shivaay. I'll leave you and go away shivaay, far away that you'd not be able to find me" Annika whispered crying bitterly. She cried into her palms.She felt her world slipping off. She didn't want to be a burden on her husband for that matter she didn't want to burden herself on anyone in this world. She had been like that from the days she could remember.

The word "leaving" made Shivaay uncontrollable. How could she even think of something like that. She very well knew what she meant to him. He was angry, he couldn't bear to hear another word. He was completely vexed out.

"Annika. Not another word more" his voice thundered, his right hand raised in the air against her, almost involuntarily. He didn't mean to do that.

Annika felt completely broken seeing her Shivaay raise his hands against her. He had never even raised a finger against her in the past five years of knowing him. That was it, she wiped away her tears, got up and walked towards the closet. She felt like the last ray of hope leaving her? Why was life always unfair with her? Whenever it gave her something it took away double of it.

She was rummaging the closet all broken searching for her towel when she heard a shattering sound. She turned back and met the shock of her life.

Shivaay's right hand was bleeding.The mirror of the dressing table lied there on the floor all shattered into pieces. Annika understood what her husband had done. She ran to him and sobbed holding his hand soaked in blood carefully.

"What have you done? Are you mad Shivaay?" She wept while Shivaay stood there void of any emotions. How could he raise his hand against his Annika. What was he doing? He deserved nothing good in life. How could he? Like how could he raise his hands against her?

"Rudra! Om! Call the doctor" Annika shouted unlocking the door of their room.

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The shards of glasses had pierced him badly. His hand needed time to heal the doctor had told. An injection had been given to prevent infection. His hand was bandaged. He could do nothing with it. The family hardly spoke anything or questioned them about what had happened. They let them, they didn't want to pressurise them.

Here Annika was feeding Shivaay pieces of roti with dahl scolding him, while Shivaay sat their like an obedient child.

"What was the need to become a hero? Did you think your hands were made of steel or something?"

"No you will not listen to anyone, only will do what you wanna do" She scolded

"Why are you this stubborn. Are you a baby? You yourself are in the age of becoming a father and are behaving like a stubborn kid" she wiped away his mouth.

Shivaay sat their silently listening to her, he was guilty and feeling terrible for everything he had done today. But his Annika had forgotten everything. When it came to him, she forgot everything. What did he do to deserve such an angel in his life. He felt like the worst man in the whole wide world.

"Annika" he began his voice almost choking.

"What Annika?" she retorted back angrily.

"What was the need to do all this? Will everything be alright if you harm yourself?" she scolded helping him drink some water. She had forgotten it all. How could someone be this selfless after all that he had done, that had made her feel belittled and terrible. Shivaay felt horrible. He didn't deserve this selfless woman in his life.

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"A wife will always be a wife. And when it comes to an angry wife it'd be beyond unimaginable. I pity the poor guys ears. What say guys.I need rest after all the drama. I'm off before you guys eat me up"

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Do comment and vote. Don't forget to comment on what you think of how this work is shaping up.

Yours sincerely,

Phoenixwriter 🌹

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