He Taught Me How To Find Myself

19: History Repeats Itself 📮

Tear were streaming down my face. I can't be pregnant, I'm only 15. I have a long life ahead of me and I like Shawn!.

Shawn, what am I going to do about Shawn? Who is the father of this child? What if I was raped?

All these questions were running through my mind and my heartbeat started racing.

My mother was crying in my dad's arms and Nathan was running my back with a blank expression on his face.

"Are they other alternatives?"

"Well since you're underage I recommend you get permission from your parents. You could always give the baby up for adoption or..."

"Abort" I finished off.

"Will it hurt?"

"Well it won't. It's safe. You have a long time to think about that, up to 26 weeks so please don't take decisions irrationally. I'll have the nurse give you a brochure you can read with information when your parents sign your discharge forms. Have a good day" the doctor said,and he walked off.

If only he told me earlier on that this is huge. I thought it's something minor, like a flu. I didn't know I'm god damn pregnant. I have to get rid of this baby, it can't stand in the way of my future. I don't even like kids.

It hurt me to watch my mother cry. I have become exactly what she was trying to protect me from. I'm pregnant, just like how she was at a young age.

Nathan nodded his head and left the room to give us some privacy.

"Ma" I said slowly.

She continued crying.

"Ma, please there has to be a mistake I don't know what happened" I said crying.

"You know exactly what happened" She said in between sniffs.

"I feel like disowning you. Throwing you away. I can't even look at you right now" She said.

"Calm down" my father said to her

"She repeated MY mistakes Robert, she was supposed to learn. Does she want to grow up and have a miserable life"

"Ma, You turned out great. I look up to you"

"Yes you're supposed to but not in every aspect. You supposed to learn from my mistakes not copy them!"

She took her handbag and walked out of the room leaving my dad behind.

My dad followed her out of the room to try and calm her down. I was left with these many thoughts in my mind and one person came to my mind: Samkelo

Samkelo will get the video for me, I've given him enough time. My hands were shaking as I sent him that text message. I asked him to keep it a secret and not tell Shawn.

My father walked in a few minutes later telling me to go change my clothes in the bathroom. I was trembling as I changed out of my Johnny gown and wore my sweatpants and t-shirt which they brought along.

I followed him out of the room with my uniform in a plastic bag. The ride home was silent and my dad was the only one who tried to make small conversation. I can't stand this. I have to do something about this child. It will cause a huge drift between my family and I.

I walked into my bedroom in silence and I locked the door. I searched my cupboards for something which could be harmful to the baby...all I found was some acne pills which I knew were harmful.

There was a knock on my door and I ignored it.

"Go away" I said.

"Ada, it's me" I heard my mothers voice.

"Mother this baby is causing problems between you and I. I need to get rid of it. I don't even know who's the father mama. I'm so useless. I'm an embarssement" I said crying.

"ADA LET ME IN SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT. TRYING TO TAKE YOUR LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS THE SOLUTION"

"I can just take some pills mom and it will be gone. We don't have to tell anyone"

"Ada, let me in" I sighed and put the pills back in my drawer walking towards the door. The automatic doors slowly opened and I walked towards my bed. My mother couldn't stop crying and she walked towards me giving me a hug.

"Ada, baby or not, I love you. I'm not happy with what you did. Especially since you were irresponsible, you don't know who the father is. You're my daughter I won't throw you out" She said giving me a peck on my cheek.

"Are you sure it's not that Shawn boy. I could always organize a group of men to beat him up" I laughed it off.

"I really don't know ma, but I'll find out" I said with a reassuring smile.

"Okay, we in this together. You have my full support. You can do anything you want, even if you want to...abort the baby"

"Thanks. Can I get some time to think?"

"Sure hun" she said.

I immideatly called Charmaine and filled her in. She was shocked but promised to support me fully in whatever decision I want to take. I also sent Nathan a brief text thanking him for being with me.

I then drifted off to a deep slumber.

**

I was woken up by my phone vibrating. It was Samkelo. My heartbeat increased and I watched my phone ring for a few seconds thinking if I really wanted to know who the father of my child is.

I picked it up after a couple of rings and sighed.

"I thought you weren't going to pick up. I almost dropped my phone" I heard a voice speak on the phone.

"I'm here. Where's the video?"

"Chill baby girl. I already sent the video. I'm glad you held up to your part of the deal, my boy is happy. Don't break his heart. Don't tell him I told you this" he said laughing on the phone.

I felt my eyes burn with tears. More reason for me to abort the baby.

"Sure. He makes me happy too" I said sniffing.

I dropped the call and went straight to my Whatsapp messages. I opened the video and watched myself move from the bartender to the dance floor.

My mouth hung open as I watched Langa's hands around my waist. A few minutes later I turned around and kissed him. We then walked out of the door a few minutes later.

I released a loud scream until my throat hurt. It's Langa. He played me.

****
HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY.
THAT'S IT. I'm sorry I'll have to leave this book here for now since I'm back in school. I'll try and update if I dont have homework for that day. Thanks for reading. And thanks a lot for the reads and vote. Carry on voting 💕❤❤❤Take care