Chapter Twelve; Alone

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I slammed the door to my room and collapsed on the bed. I grabbed my pillow and, feeling like a girl, I screamed into it. I screamed loud and long. I shook my head into it and tried to contain my anger. It slowly melted into confusion, which then faded away to sadness. I swallowed trying to keep back my tears.

Why should I be crying like this?

I’ve known him for only… what? Four days maybe?

He’s just… so… Erg!

I don’t even know how I’m feeling right now…

My heart has officially stopped, that image running through my head, over and over. There was a loud knock, interrupting my thoughts.

“What?” I yelled through the pillows. The knock came again.

“Hunny? Hun, are you alright?” My mother’s soft voice rang through the door. I groaned and turned around, head in the comforter.

“I’m fine. Nothing I can’t handle.” I called back. That was all it took, a few words for me to crack. I felt one tear slip through as I buried my face even further, trying to hide it all. It was really harsh what I did… It was probably the worst thing I’ve ever said to anybody… I don’t care if he’s gay… I’m not that type. I don’t know why I’m angry exactly…

Now all of those awkward looks from his mother or anybody else when I was around made sense… They wanted to know if we were a thing. Did he think we were a thing…? Did he want that?

Was that boy the one he was going to take to the dance?

If he is, he seemed pretty interested to me…

That thought hurt, causing me to be unable to breath.

Maybe if I just get some sleep…

It didn’t help.

I didn’t sleep at all.


I cried harshly into my pillow. I had been crying for almost two hours before there was a knock on my door.

“Go away, I’m on my period.” I sniffed. The knock didn’t stop, it only got louder. I left it. I refuse to get up. I heard my lock being picked, but I still wouldn’t get up. The door was thrown open and Tambry waltzed inside. She flicked off my music and walked towards me. I closed both of my swollen eyes and felt her arms wrap around my shoulders, wrapping me in a hug.

“Why are y-you here?” I stuttered. My throat burned, my heart ached and my eyes stung. She held me tighter, but I wish those arms were someone else’s. She rocked back and forth.

“Your mom tried to get inside here a million times but you wouldn’t let her. She called me because well, we’ve always been close, haven’t we?” She whispered, rubbing my shoulder. “Now what’s wrong, dear?

I sniffed again, all the tears returning as I told her what had happened.

“Tambry… He’s the only guy that’s ever really got me. I knew from the moment I met him he’d be different… He’s gorgeous with his apple eyes and his tan skin and that smile that just melts my heart… We’ve done so much in these few days… I felt like I really knew him. Tambry, I think it’s safe to say, I loved him…” I whispered my eyes stinging again from the tears. Tambry nodded and laid her head upon mine.

“He makes my heart beat faster and when I’m around him I just can’t breathe… I can be myself. I was fine just being friends with him because just being around him made me happy… But I won’t tell him that. I won’t tell him such frustrating things.” I sniffed. My cheeks burned, my hair was in a mess. I lay on her legs, letting her pat my hair down.

“Em, you can’t let a guy like him get to you. Obviously, we all thought he was different. Just forget about him, he’s nothing but a douche.” She snarled to the side. My head jerked up and I shot her a cold scowl.

“Don’t talk about him like that! Don’t ever say that about him! He’s perfect in every single way! He’s my best friend! He’s…” I began to choke up even more. “Mine.”

Tambry’s eyes softened as she pulled me down into a hug again. “You don’t have to protect him anymore, you know. Do you want me to talk to him about it?” She asked as she rested her head on mine. I shook my head violently.

“No, please don’t… He probably doesn’t even care.”

“Em, he would be stupid not to want you.” She whispered with her hands tangled in my hair. I shrugged.

“You’d be surprised how stupid he can be.”


Here's just something so you can see inside Beck's head, sorta, not exactly, but close enough...

I hate it when my babies fight. :'(


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