touch [h.s]

•21•

I've been rewinding the whole thing in my head for the past few days. I don't know why but that's all that matters to me right now, even tho I have a lot more urgent matters to attend to. It's four fifteen in the fucking morning and I can't sleep. I'm going for a smoke, maybe that will help a bit. I get up, trying not to make to much noise. I'm instantly hit by a wave of chills, going thru my body. Before I go anywhere I grab the blanket and then head out to the kitchen. I sit down on the chair and lean on the table, my face in my hands. I take in a deep breath and light up a cigaret. My head is killing me from the lack of sleep and stress. I rub my templets but it doesn't seem to help. I decided to move from the chair to the balcony. I know I'll probably be freezing but at least I'll stop thinking about everything else. I can beryl see the sky because of the tall buildings around. The city down is moving to it's own rhythm, witch I'm slowly learning. I don't even know if the smoke coming from my mouth is due to the cold or cigarettes. The main thing on my mind is Harry. That shouldn't have bothered me so much. We're just friend, nothing else. He can kiss who ever he want's too and I don't have any right to say anything, I have a boyfriend for goodness sake. But deep down, where I pushed all my emotions long ago is the same feeling that I've always felt towards Harry and it's giving me hell. I need to get back in bed if I wan't to get up on time tomorrow.
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Coffee to go and a cigarette is all I've tasted today. Time was going slow but it was mostly because I just wanted to get home and take a nap before we leave tonight. I don't really wanna go but I promised so I have to, good thing is that I'm not alone but the bad news is I'll have to spend some time with my parents and their stupid questions.
A nap,shower, some coffee and we were ready to go. I put the bare minimum in my bag to take with me for the weekend. I'll spend some time with Casper and walk around my hometown.I just hope I don't regret this weekend.
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Love you all