Chapter 1.

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It's so easy to fight with your siblings and yell things like "I hate you" or "mom and dad should have never had you" but when you lose them...that's the not so easy part. Five years ago my older sister Ellie died in a car accident. She was only sixteen years old and had her whole life ahead of her. I was only thirteen at the time, still figuring out life.

Her smile could light up an entire room and her laugh, every time she laughed it made you want to laugh alongside her. Her happiness was contagious and she made sure to make everyone around her happy even if they weren't sad. My only sibling but my best friend. Ever since her death, my mom has drunk away any pain she's ever felt.

Now my parents are divorced and I'm moving to Los Angeles California with my dad. My mind raced with so many thoughts as my dad drove down the road in some fancy suburban neighborhood. I watched as he pulled into the driveway of a large but beautiful home. It made me sigh which he noticed and turned the car off.

"I know this is hard but it's what we needed, a fresh start on life." He tried explaining to me. I don't really wanna hear it right now after everything I've had to go through in the last five years.

"Leaving mom back in Chicago is what we needed?" I asked coldly as I looked over at him full of anger. It pisses me off that he abandoned her when she needed him the most. She is in pain and he left! What kind of husband does that to his wife in mourning. I understand that it's been five years but I can only imagine how bad the pain is of losing a child.

He let out a deep breath and gave me an apologetic look. "Let's get our bags out of the back. The movers will be here soon." He said and climbed out of the car. I rolled my eyes and got out. We brought all our things into the house just as the movers came. We were then left in an empty and very quiet home.

It took three hours to unpack and was still not even close to being finished. My dad tried to make dinner but failed miserably so we got pizza instead. We sat in silence the entire time which is why I'm happy to be in my room. 

That night I couldn't get any sleep so I just stared up at the ceiling while my mind went back to that night the hospital called saying, my sister was gone. There hasn't been a day where I didn't miss her or think about her. The sound of someone knocking on my door pulled me from my thoughts causing me to look over and see my dad.

"You should get some sleep," he smiled softly. "Don't wanna be late for your first day of school tomorrow." 

I nodded and wished him goodnight then turned over and stared at my wall until I eventually did drift off to sleep. My dreams that night were only filled with my sister and when we were kids. My heart has been so heavy ever since I lost her. Will this pain ever go away?

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