I'm just an ordinary girl. Sometimes I'm crazy, I get bored, I get knocked down, I get scared I feel ignored. My name is Emily Paige Anne Lizzy Lovato. I'm just an ordinary girl. Except for one thing: my doc martens. Also, I'm really at coding. Like, really good. One time I hacked Ted Cruz's twitter and made him like porn on 9/11. Most girls see a computer and don't know where to begin. They only care about technology for posting slutty pictures on snapchat and instagram and onlyfans. Not me. Except I have an onlyfans. Follow me. Caligirl_69.
I love Harry Styles. But not as much as I love hacking. I sometimes have a hard time fitting in because I'm smart. I care about politics. Other girls stay looking up to pathetic Centrists like Joe biden. Not me. I stan Bernie Sanders. I'm actually a proud anarcho-communist. This is how Bernie can still win. With me behind him. I am going to hack the 2020 election. That's right. Dramatic Music. Cut scene. (for reference, this is 100% a joke or maybe satire. I don't know the difference please don't arrest me I can't hack.).
LIke I said, I'm just an ordinary girl. Except I'm not. I'm different. Other girls my age listen to trash like Billie Eilish and think they understand the world. But they'll never understand what's really important because their tiny diplodocus brains could never comprehend the importance of the work I do.
Suddenly, my phone rang. My ringtone is Tame Impala The Less I know the better.
"Who could that be?" I pondered, but my phone didn't answer. It just rang, an unknown number pulsating enticingly on the screen. Trembling, I answered. "H—hello?" I breathed tremulously.
"it matters not what you've done but what you do with what you've done for others," said a deep, gravelly male voice. It was undoubtedly male, and undoubtedly sexy, but it was distorted and garbled, through a filter. I recognized it instantly. "Anonymous!" I moaned. "Daddy, is that you?"
"Yes, @simpforanondaddy420."
"Bruh moment! How'd you find me? Was it through my reddit account?"
"You kept commenting under our twitter posts. From the vernacular that you employed, we knew that you could be nothing less than a master coder. Your onlyfans was in your bio, so we used the location stamps from the photos you posted to find your address. Nice tits, by the way."
I blushed. Hard. I couldn't believe that anondaddy had seen my fat badongas and tight tight coochie lips. I wondered what he thought about my Simp for Anonymous tramp stamp.
"What--what do you want with me? I'm just an innocent, ordinary girl!"
The voice chuckled maniacally. "We want you."
I gasped. My panties were instantly soaked. "What does that mean?"
"If you want to find out, meet us at snorkeling with Leopard sharks! During the month of August, the Leopard sharks traditionally come to give birth in the cove of La Jolla. They are docile creatures, and you can actually grab some snorkel gear and go out and see them. It is a unique experience."
"Uhhhh...okay. Sure, I guess." I was scared, but also titillated. Fear and arousal usually go hand in hand for me. I wondered if he was hard. I was.
"I'll see you then." Click. The line went dead.
"Oh wow, that was a loud click. He must have been using a payphone to avoid detection. That's really smart! I'm soooo impressed. Wait shit I forgot to ask what time. I guess I just better go now and hang around until someone shows up for me! That's what I do at the trailer park anyway."
I headed outside and hopped in my white Jeep that I got for my sweet 16 present, 2 years ago, I'm 18, from my stupid parents who I hate. They always treat me like a baby when I'm more powerful than they could ever understand. I popped on my Spotify playlist called "Vibez XD" and mac demarco started oozing through speakers. I'm not like the other girls. This is the music of the culture. I am skinny but my tits and ass are HUGGEEE. I mean HUGGEEEE. Almost huge as my hacking skills. That's why I'd never listen to Ariana Grande. Skinny slut. That should be her next album. I watch Pewdiepie and use reddit, okay? I literally have 37k karma. POST karma. Yeah, that's right. Plus 100k comment karma. So, gtfo. I bet you use ifunny.
The leopard shark museum fuck i mean the leopard shark interactive experience loomed ahead of me. The La Jolla leopard sharks are beautiful – and harmless – and snorkeling alongside them makes for an incredible afternoon out with the family. These little guys are hard to miss, and are distinctively marked with dark brown spots on a silvery, gray background that resemble a leopard print.n There's no reason to be scared of these little guys, as they are completely harmless to humans and won't bite or bother you. Be respectful of them and you can expect them to do the same for you! It reminded me of this callmecarson vlog I watched. Yes, I'm a girl who watches callmecarson. DEAL with it.
I parked my car and approached the leopard shark crib. My doc martens echoed against the pavement as I stomped my tiny stick legs. Skinny legend. I hateeeeee my dad. He's literally such a jerk. I can't even. Anonymous would never treat me like that. God, I had to piss bad. I made a beeline for the bathrooms that were right next to the leopard shark gift shop. I had locked myself in a stall and pulled down my panties when there was a knock on the stall door.
"Occupied!" I said timidly.
"Oh I know." the stall door flew open. Noah Centineo was standing in front of me. "I just hacked the lock. Damn girl, your coochie is just UMPH.
