Slowly we all start to gather in the rec room. Even though it's barely after noon I'm sipping on my 2nd glass of tequila and water. OK fine, 3rd. OK fine, chugging. I'm sitting on the couch next to Cat. She makes me feel safe, so I'm sitting as close as I can to her. I'm trying really hard to listen to what she and Lance are saying but my heart is pounding too loudly.
Suddenly I realize Lance and Cat have stopped talking and are both looking at me. Did someone ask me a question?
"Rosa?" Lucy says from behind me, making me jump and spill the rest of my drink.
"Sorry Rosa! I didn't mean to startle you!" Lucy says.
"That's OK, it's my fault, I was...distracted." I say. I get up to dry off and refill my glass.
Lucy follows me. "Can I talk to you in private for a minute?"
"Sure Lucy, what's up?"
"I don't want any feelings to get hurt today. So I want to know what you're OK with, and what you aren't." She whispers.
"Lucy, I'm already planning on being with Cat and Lance. Anything is fair game. I promise I won't be hurt."
"Are you sure? It won't bother you to see me with Bryce?"
"I'm sure. I've been with both of you, and to be honest, the idea of seeing you together is kind of a turn on."
Lucy giggles, "Wow Rosa, I never thought I'd hear something like that coming from you. I'm really proud of you. You've really blossomed this weekend. You're practically dripping with confidence!"
"I don't think that's confidence! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge!" I say laughingly. Lucy laughs and gives my bottom a playful slap.
"Well I think I'm going to be a little jealous of you and Cat, but it wouldn't be fair to keep you from her again. Just remember..." She says and kisses me, sliding her hand into the front of my skirt and panties and rubs her fingers against my pussy. "...I'll always be your first."
Lucy walks away and I look around to see if anyone saw what happened, but it seems like they were all looking away. I pour myself a drink, needing it more than ever!
"What are you drinking?" Bryce asks.
"Hi, wow you are a quiet one. I didn't hear you come up. Tequila. You?" I say.
"That's good. Liquid courage."
"Yup. Looks like everyone is here. We'll probably get started soon."
"I guess so!"
"Unless...?" He says looking imploringly at me.
"Unless nothing. Have a good time."
"Thanks, you too." I say and go back to sit with Cat and Lance.
"Hey guys, can I get your attention for a second?" Bryce says to all of us. "I just wanted to thank you for coming out this year, and welcome the first-timers. The bar is stocked, there are bowls of toys, lube and condoms out, please help yourselves. No means no. And have fun!"
I can't believe it's really happening. I feel like I've been on a roller coaster this weekend that has been steadily climbing and is about to go over the edge. I look at the stairs that lead up to where I would usually be hiding at this time. This is it. This is my last chance to escape to the safety of the familiar. I look at Cat, she smiles and puts her hand on mine. "Are you OK sweetie?" I watch her mouth form the words. She's wearing pale pink lip gloss. When she's done, she licks her lips. At that moment, I decide that I am tired of being on the side lines. I'm tired of letting fear keep me away from the pleasures in life. This time, I'm going to take the plunge. I lick my lips, then move in closer to Cat. When my lips are grazing hers I say, "I'm better than OK." and kiss her.