MY VERY FUNNY JOKES

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Who ever stole my antidepressants
I hope you are happy now





What do you call a beverage made by poor people?
PoverTea







How do you tell your acne is getting out of hand?
Blind people try to read you










A man once told his son, 'if you are ever bored, punch an orphan...
What are they going to do? Tell their parents'









One little boy asks his mother
' Mum, what's dark humor?'

His mother reply's 'See that man over there with no arms? Ask him to clap'

The boy reply's, 'But mummy, I'm blind'








Some guys girlfriend called him a pedophile

He replied, 'that's a long word for a 5 year old'











Three men are wondering through a forest
They meet a tribe
The tribe tells them each to gather 10 of the same fruit.

They each go off and collect fruit

The first person comes back with Apples,
The tribe tells him to stick them all up his butt without making a sound

He gets to the third one and begins to cry
He gets killed

The second man comes back with grapes
They tell him the same thing.
He is doing Well, and gets to the 8th one and behind laughing loads

In heaven, the first person asks the second person, 'Why did you laugh?'
The second person replied 'I saw the third person coming with a pineapple'










A mum is walking home with her three daughters- Rose, Lily and CinderBlock

Rose asks her mum 'Why did you name me rose?'
The mum replied 'Well sweetie, when we were coming home from the hospital a rose fell in your head'
Lily, curious now, asks her mum' why did you name me after a flower too?'
The mother replied ' well when we were on the way home from the hospital a lily fell on your head'
CinderBlock then says to her mother 'dhhskahegfbj'









If you don't like chemistry jokes, then you are boron






Teacher: Today we are going to finger paint.
Kid named paint: *CONFUSED SCREAMING*






My friend lives near Chernobyl in Ukraine, he watched that TV show, he counted 9 historical inaccuracies on one hand

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⏰ Last updated: Jun 10, 2020 ⏰

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