In Gray

Front

Gray is a nobody. Even her name is fucking sad. Gray. She didn't mind her name though. It helped her. Gray didn't want to be anybody, she didn't want anything; she didn't really even like anything. She liked to hide. It made things easier for her. It's so much easier to hide than it is to stand out in the open. She didn't really like to let people in. That made things messy. She didn't really like messy. Gray hated her life. She hated a lot of things. She hated her parents, she hated her brother, she hated her friends, she hated herself. It wasn't hard for her to hate herself. She always found it funny how she could make herself so easy to hate. Gray didn't smile. Smiling was a passage. It let people in. She didn't like that.

Ironically, everyone knew Gray. She couldn't really stop people from knowing of her, but she wouldn't let anyone know her. She gave up on trying to let people understand her. It seemed really exhausting. Why catch someone up on your whole life when you could just not. That seemed easier. Gray liked easy. Her life wasn't easy.

Gray liked to blend in. She didn't want to be noticed. She used to think that if she was noticed she would have to try. For a long time she gave a shit. She kept up with the trends so she would dissolve into the pool of the rest of her peers. Sad thing is, people change. Too fast. It was tiring to keep up with people, so she stopped. Soon she didn't keep up with the trends. She lagged behind her school, wearing the same black hoodie starting from sophomore year. People used to make fun of her. She didn't mind. It was easier than wasting her energy on dumb teenager shit. Plus, they would stop soon anyway. They always did.

Surprisingly school was a highlight for Gray. At school she didn't need to act like she was okay. No one cared whether or not she put her hood up and didn't do anything. Her teachers didn't care if she was sad or not. That made things easy. Home wasn't easy. Home meant having to act. It meant putting up a one way filter for her parents to look through. She got pretty used to it. Plus they started to care less too.

Gray lived with her mother, her father, her brother, and a dog. She didn't like her parents very much. They were too complicated for her. Her mother, Cassiopeia, talked too loud. It made Gray's head hurt. She didn't like noise. Both of Gray's parents were European immigrants. They had bad English. Gray's father was sad and angry. Gray didn't mind him as much. He was easier to manage. She knew he loved her dog more than her could ever love her. She didn't mind though. It made things easier for her. Gray's brother was the hardest for her to manage. He was noisy. He made things much louder than they needed to be. Not just volume wise. She hated him. She hated how he always questioned her, or did dumb things to create more noise in her life. He was a waste of space in her eyes. She didn't like him. Her dog was fine. She was definitely the easiest for Gray to support. Gray like animals. They were simple. And quiet. 

~hey so from here on out, I'm going to put a song on every chapter . to get the full understanding of the book (trust me, it'll hit you harder with the music), please listen while reading!! Haha okay thanks~