Insecurities of High School

Chapter 6

After receiving my extra hot non-fat white chocolate mocha from the barista, Stacey and I made our way over to a plush couch in the Starbucks to discuss the days' events. Her look of concern caused me to blurt out what was on my mind instantly. "Danny kissed me."

Her mouth dropped while she was left speechless for several seconds before she regained her composure and shut it. Her bright blue eyes remained wide while you could almost see the wheels in her mind running a million miles an hour. "Wha... what??"

"I know. I was shocked, hurt, empathetic, confused. Too many things all at once. He kissed me, told me he felt this way about me for some time, and I did nothing, said nothing. I turned around and ran away in tears, bumped into Landon who helped calm me down, and then went looking for you," I blurted out quickly while tears stung at my eyes again, and took a big sip of my hot drink to calm down.

"Well, I mean, I'm shocked. I always had a feeling that he liked you, but you guys have been friends forever. I assumed if he did, he would have done something by now. What brought all of this on?"

I looked at her sheepishly, "Landon."

Her look of surprise was enough. "Why him? I mean, you don't like him like that right? I mean, I know he's good looking and all, but you said you were focusing on school and so I thought he was up for grabs, but if you're interested too, this complicates - "

"Stace, it's ok. I'm attracted to him, yes, but I hardly know him," I quickly interrupted her before she hyperventilated.  After she took a deep breath and calmed down, I continued, "Danny overheard us talking about our jogging plans and got all upset. When Landon and I were walking to English afterwards he mentioned he's sorry and doesn't want to get the middle. When I asked him what he meant, he had assumed that Danny and I were together. That was in my mind all morning, and when we were sitting at lunch and Danny came by asking for me, I asked him. His response to my question about his mood was to kiss me and confess his feelings. The rest you know." I finished off breathlessly. Stacey had been listening very quietly the whole time, sipping on her Chai latte. She nodded along, seeming to take it all in.

"Ok so by the sounds of it, Danny has liked you for a while."

I nodded.

"And you don't have those feelings for him?"

Again, I nodded.

"And let me guess, you're worried it'll never be the same between you two again?"

I shook my head, squeezing my eyes tight so tears wouldn't form again. "I know it won't be. How can it be after this?" Stacey reached over and gave me a big bear hug, rubbing my back. It reminded me of earlier with Landon, causing my heart to race for a second. I tried to push any thoughts of him out of my mind, seeing as how I had a bigger situation to handle, but I couldn't. The look of concern in his eyes and the feel of his hand rubbing me kept creeping back.

"Look, I think you and Danny need to have a heart to heart. No running away, I know you're scared. Maybe Danny would be good for you as a boyfriend, are you sure you don't feel that way about him?"

I shrugged my shoulders and sighed, "I never have thought about him that way until now. I mean, sure Andrew and I dated for a while and nothing ever came of it but Danny never said anything then. I just don't understand why now."

"Maybe he's threatened by Landon," Stacey offered.

I laughed and shook my head. "Yeah right, there's nothing there. I know for a fact he's interested in someone, he told me, and I'm absolutely positive it isn't me."

Stacey gave me a hard look, the one that warned me of an up-coming lecture. "Brooke, I know your self-esteem isn't the greatest, but look at you. You're so beautiful, and sweet and smart and funny. I'm not going to list off the reasons why I love you, but you know I do. And as your best friend, please trust me when I say any guy is a fool not to want to be with you."

I smiled, reaching over to hug her. "You know how to cheer a girl up. Thanks, but I'm sticking with my plan of no guys for the year. School and grad and university are my thoughts. Anyways, Landon gave you his number, not me."

"But he didn't invite me jogging, or walk with me from class. Don't rule out any possibilities until you have solid evidence. I don't want to fight over a guy, you know me, hoes before bros."

I smiled at her, I was so lucky to have such an amazing friend. I was still sure that the girl Landon had spoken about wasn't me, but in the back of my mind a tiny sprout of possibility formed. I shook it off, knowing my next conversation would be hard.