Dr. Leafhead: The Complete Saga

Part 3, Chapter 1: Grelk

             Dr. Leafhead: Story of a Mad Scientist

       Part 3: Red Cape Man and the Interdimensional Conclusion

When Leafhead and I jumped into a portal to another dimension neither of us had any idea where we would end up. We were lucky it didn't drop us somewhere in the random vacuum of space, as most portals do, but instead on the surface of a breathable planet. This planet was not obscure to the adventures of Wilx and Rip (the alien inhabitants of this strange dimension and the very reason we had been able to travel here) but it was generally a peripheral planet that only been briefly visited once or twice. It wasn't as if the portal dropped us off in downtown Lincra (the most heavily populated environment in the multiverse). This was Grelk. The tar-planet. It was remote, mostly uninhabited (aside from the odd summer cabin owned by loons). It was ugly. Cold.

"It's so ugly," I said. "And cold."

"I know," said Leafhead. "It's extraordinary."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean, of course it's ugly and cold. But it's a different world. We're visiting an alien planet right now!" His eye twitched.

"What are you talking about?" I asked. "I've been to Mars dozens of times."

"That barely compares to this," replied Leafhead. "Mars is practically our next door neighbor. I can stare at it with my naked eye. Years of study, observation and imagery have acquainted us to the planet of Mars. But this is an actual mysterious alien planet in an entirely different dimension or realm of existence. This is real exploration. This is happening."

I could tell Leafhead was freaking out as much as I was.

"Hey, let's go sit down near that tar-pit," I suggested. "Gather our thoughts. See the sights."

We sat down on a chunk of lava rock near the tar-pit. But not so close as to get splashed by the bursting bubbles of tar. The toxic tar boiled away without a care in the world.

"There's not much here aside from tar-pits, eh?" I said to Leafhead in a joking manner. "In fact, nothing else at all."

Leafhead produced his Hyper-clearion Binoco-laris and scanned the horizon.

"I think I see a summer cabin in the distance!" he said excitedly.

"Really?" I asked. I was amazed that anyone would live here, even if only for the summer.

"It doesn't look that far. Let's try to walk over there."

We ventured towards the structure.

"How do you know it's a summer cabin?" I asked. "For all we know this planet doesn't even have a summer. Probably only has one season. One constant, dreary season."

"I know a summer cabin when I see one," said Leafhead. "Nobody owns that many barbeques, tiki torches and hammocks if they're preparing for a perpetual season of grey skies and rain."

"So even in a different dimension they have hammocks," I mused in what I thought was a profound way of musing. "Things aren't so different, after all."

"Don't be so sure," said Leafhead. "For all we know that hammock is a sentient being, offended by our invasion and ready to ensnare us in its deadly net."

We walked for hours. I got so thirsty I started to hallucinate and thought the toxic tar pits were actually cool ponds of water. Leafhead had to restrain me when I tried to drink the tar.

"Here, take a few of these pills and shut up," he said.

"What are they?" I asked.

"Water tablets. I got them from another story. These things are all connected, you know."

I popped a pill. It was magically converted into a gulp of the freshest water I had ever tasted. It was pure.

We finally arrived at the summer cabin. A sign informed us we were about to visit THE CHILDHOOD HOME OF BLOK MARDEM AND MUSEUM OF CLUG RADDO. The sign looked rundown. Still, it had once been of importance and cost somebody way too much money in my opinion.

"That's interesting," I said. "This place isn't a summer cabin. It's the childhood home of somebody named Blok Mardem and the museum of something named Clug Raddo."

"Fascinating," said Leafhead. "Baffling. Confounding. Astounding. It's--"

"Enough adjectives," I interrupted.

There were indeed a few barbeques, tiki torches and one possibly sentient hammock that I decided to keep my distance from. I surmised those summertime additions had been added by squatter(s) who moved in sometime after the museum went out of business, hence the confusion about what the hell was exactly going on here.

We entered the house. It was a primitive place. Tiny plaques provided trivia notes about Clug Raddo. It was some sort of planet or family diner chain. I couldn't make sense of the details at the time or how it entirely tied in with this Blok Mardem person. Something to do with planetary reconstruction. Of course we weren't reading every plaque but only gathering scattered details from beneath the dusty relics.

"Quite a place," I said.

"There's nothing here," said Leafhead.

"What do you mean?" I asked. The house was full of weird exhibits.

"There's no technology," said Leafhead. "I can't make us any devices to get out of here. No spaceships. No telepods. No portals. No iPods. No typewriters. No garburators. No AAA batteries. Nada."

"Hmm," I said. "I didn't think about that."

"We jumped into the pockets of the jacket, effectively traveling into this dimension. But now that jacket, along with the entire current dimension, is left back where we came from. How do we even get back through?"

"Right. And what about these so-called terrible consequences that might occur from the use of the unstable gateway?" I added with a more serious tone.

"We'll worry about that if we have to. For now it doesn't seem to be a problem."

I walked through the childhood kitchen of Blok Mardem, opening all the cupboards and the refrigerator in a futile attempt to locate anything of use. Nothing. This place was gutted. It was a prop kitchen, housing fake museum memories and nothing else. I couldn't be inside anymore. I went out and sat down. I failed at trying to enjoy the sight of a nearby tar-pit. Leafhead did the same. Nobody really said anything for the longest few hours of my life. We would have been moved by the incredible sunset had we been able to see it through the smoggy atmosphere.