Heartfelt

The Lizard Affair...!

Mummy!", there is a lizard in here.!, yelled Mannan, my ten year old son hastily running out of the kitchen. It was already 7:30pm, time to cook dinner and here he was scaring me off with the news that lizard is just right there, exactly where I need to be at this hour of the day..., in the kitchen.!

In my childhood days, I remember whenever there happened to be a lizard around at home I used to tag along with my mother, hiding behind her, holding the fag end of her saree to enter in any space of the house where our scary visitor – "the lizard" would be. Even the mid- night 3am rounds to the washroom for answering nature's call were done only after waking up my mother. She had to accompany me, it was strictly mandatory from my end for when a lizard was around, having her with me gave me a sense of security, that nothing could harm me as long as she was there by my side.

But now, things were different, roles were changed and she was no more around. I had to step into her shoes, for now I was the mother and my son was the little one who would tag along with me and hide behind to feel secure. How do I tell him that no matter my age, I still am scared of that creepy reptile on the wall.

"Mummy!!!" he called out again, come quickly, I want to drink water but I can't go inside to have it, not until it's there on the wall!". So, bravely I got up from my chair, put aside the book I was reading and went by his side. I came up with a strategy in my mind. Unlike what I used to do as a child to inquisitively and curiously look out for the things that scared me, I turned a blind eye to it. I calmly walked into the kitchen holding Mannan's hand, without trying to look around where the lizard is, helped him with the water and came out. I felt like a conqueror, a winner who overcame her fear and even though I did not express this to him I held his hand while entering the kitchen equally for my mental security as his.!

Many a times, unknowingly just like our parents, our kids too enfold us in the same sense of security that as long as they are by our side nothing can go wrong, nothing can harm us and everything will be just fine.

I wonder if it was the same for my mother as well, her untold fear which she didn't share, putting up a brave face while being scared inside, only to make me feel secure and confident as a child.