“Just please talk to me Kath,” Janine whined at my side as I stopped by my locker. I wasn’t truly angry at her, and to be honest I missed her. I gripped the rough edge of my locker, then turned around to stare into her eyes, which were wide with fear and sadness. I could feel my tough exterior breaking away as I pulled her into a warm hug. “God, Janine I missed you.” I mumbled into her blonde hair. When I released her from my hug I saw tears in Janine’s big blue eyes. “I’m so sorry, Kath.” She whispered. I simply nodded my head and smiled at her. Life was too short to fight with good friends, I think.
We walked hand in hand to our first class of the day, when I realized Nixon was not in his seat. Maybe he was just skipping first period? I bit my nail as I swiftly turned my attention back over to our teacher. Anxiety clawed at my stomach. Nixon was even moodier than a girl. Jeez, how did I get stuck with him?
By the end of first and second period, we had lunch break, were Nixon was still missing. I thought back. Nothing was strange this morning, no drama. He was wearing a depressed frown, I recall. But doesn’t everyone before they head off to school? Suddenly, it hit me. There’d been these white flowers ear the door before I zoomed out to catch the bus and steal homework answers off of some smart kid. I paused. His father is with my mom in Big Bear for the week, his mother isn’t dead, she’s off living in France with some dream boat of a guy I recall from our random chats. Did his grandma or grandpa die today? No… Mom would have mentioned it.
Then it hit me. Callie.
Scrolling over my cell phones internet web page I went back to the article on Callie Kim, the swimsuit (Nixon’s past love) model. She died today, I recalled as I paled. That’s were Nixon is… I felt a slight stab of sadness and jealousy as I imagined him sitting there alone. I definitely wasn’t going to pull a fan-girl rescue, I was in the middle of school, plus I’d look desperate. Anyways, I’m sure Nixon would like to be alone right now. Strolling over to the entrance of the school yard, I quickly climbed over it. I don’t know what I’m thinking, but I’m going with my gut feeling.
Running down the street I felt sweat blossom along my forehead. I wasn’t heading towards the grave-yard, I somehow knew he wouldn’t be there, I headed towards home. Running through the wide expanse of green grass that covered our front yard, I made my way to the front door. Closing it behind me, I quickly walked down to the back door, which led to a ten acre expanse of lush pine trees. There’s a small pond there, and I know from past experiences that it draws in depressed people.
The pond is calm and serene, soothing emotions. I softly pad through the path and come across Nixon, flicking white flower petals into the cool expanse of water. Each petal bobs on the surface, remaining there circling in a different path.
It’s heartbreaking to watch Nixon’s downcast sad grey eyes. I know he’s good at hiding emotions, good at remaining hidden behind his rough playboy exterior. To see him this was reminds me he has emotion deep down inside him. I surprise him by suddenly sitting down next to him. My body is facing his, cushioned by the fresh grass. His eyes widen at the sight of me. “Katherine? I thought you were in school-” I throw my arms around him and clutch him in my embrace, Nixon soon eases himself into my hug, sighing deeply as he wraps his arms around me. “I really loved her.” He mumbled against my hair. I ran a hand through his dark silky hair, inhaling his rich scent.
I really love you.
I suddenly realized it at this moment. How could you not? To look into his un-veiled eyes made me realize him, made me look at him not as a step-brother, but as someone else completely. It’s kind of sad I realized all of this on the day of his true love’s anniversary of passing, but I can’t help it. As I clutch him desperately I realize he is moving away from me, and out of my grasp. He places a hand on my face, stroking my cheek with the pad of his thumb.