Memories

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It had been a month since the incident. Peter seemed to remember it so vividly. It was like when you fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning, it felt like they had fast forwarded in time. He remembered everything too, just like a bad dream. He remembered walking through the portal and just seeing the decimation. It scared him, he just tried his best to find his mentor and he was glad he did.

He remembered watching from the side lines, pleading in his head that it was just a figment of his imagination. Seeing him kneeling in front of Thanos, before he snapped. It was like a flash in reality, just a switch flipping off inside him, the moment he snapped his fingers. He felt like his entire world was caving in on top of him.

He wished there was anything he could do, anything, but he knew this was it. The last time he truly broke down as he watched the only person in his life, the one who gave him everything and more, just drift. The moment he saw the light on his chest flicker to darkness, he didn't know what to do, because no amount of time could have saved him and he knew that.

He remembered when they were on that planet and Doctor Strange said they only had one possibility on their side, he thought of every possible way, but he wished this wasn't it. And that's the part that got to him most, the self destructive thoughts, wishing he could have done more, anything more, were silenced, because there was only one way. This was how it had to end, and he knew that.

He tried his best to accept that, when he hated himself for being so useless, he just tried to remember what Doctor Strange had said, there was no other way. He kept being spider man, saving as many people as he could, trying to change someone else's reality, because he didn't want anyone to end up like him, but when he couldn't, he just tried to accept that can't save everyone, but it was hard.

He barely ever went to the compound, it was like every single time he did, the weight of everything Mr. Stark had built just in front of him, did nothing but drag him down. Eventually though, he knew he had to, he knew he needed to go otherwise he wouldn't stop avoiding grieving if he couldn't accept it, so he went.

He remembers walking into the compound and trying his best to keep a straight face, but, there was just an internal pain that just wouldn't go away no matter what he did. It was like his body carried him even though his mind couldn't go any further, and it brought him to his lab.

Just seeing everything there, untouched, it was like a time capsule. So many memories came back to him that he tried to suppress, but they were just spilling over in his head. He just found himself glued to the floor, unable to move, unable to bring himself any further into the room, because he felt that if he did, he'd just crumble.

He was doing his best to stay put together, but suddenly a projection popped up in front of him, it was a video. He watched as it played a clip of Mr. Stark and Pepper.

"Pepper I'm not going to do it, He's too young, they can have spider man's identity when he's ready to give it away, why do you think he wears the mask, to cover up, he's staying secret for a reason."

Peter felt his heart ache as his body gave way and Peter fell to his knees. The burning in his eyes suddenly came through, he could feel the tears coming out of his eyes, he couldn't stop them no matter what he tried.

"F-Friday, turn it off." Peter managed to choke out, Friday didn't answer and kept the video going where it cut to another clip, this time it was him and Rhodey, they were chilling in the kitchen, and when he checked the date, it was just a few weeks after the whole Toomes incident.

"I gotta say, I never thought you of all people would be able to mentor a kid so well, but you're really doing a good job at it." Rhodey said as he motioned towards Mr. Stark with his mug.

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