you can't stop my happiness cause i like the way i am

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i had such a badass dream it was awesome man. okay so in my more cinematic dreams i'm there, sometimes from the perspective of the characters, but it's a lot like the muppets christmas carol, how gonzo and rizzo still open and close the doors and stuff in the story but they aren't actually acknowledged. and sometimes, like the first half of my dream, i'm actually in there.

okay now to my dream. okay so it started where i was somewhere, like at a really nice rich house. the front yard was HUGE and so green. and i had a yoyo but this wasn't an ordinary yoyo, it was my weapon, it could stun people and bring their energy down. and i went to the front yard and omigosh there were three very attractive people waiting for me. one looked a lot like ben from the umbrella academy, the other was basically ruby rose, and the third was my actual age so she was a bit younger but she still be looking good tho. and the ben lookalike had a yoyo too. so basically the story line was that ruby rose and teenage dream there were my enemies but ben was supposed to be on my team, he was either my brother (like tua) or just one of my good friends but he turned to the evil side so now i had to fight him. and omigosh kdalhfsbfak it was so badass like they were attacking me while little miss sunset just sat there commanding them and at first i didn't have very much control over the yoyo but after a while of running and hiding (may i remind you from the knife throwing of ruby rose) i got the gist of it and i injured all three of them and went back inside after a really cool quip :))

then the second part featured the beautiful cast of yours, mine, ours (without danielle panabaker and drake bell) as well as selena gomez and bella thorne. however there's a twist. there was something, basically like the squip ig but also like the hordak prime chips, and it was getting to each of the members of the family. selena, the little blonde boy, and one of the little girls were the only free ones (bella was just selena's bff in this) and like i was in their perspectives so i was fighting off the taller much stronger people from getting to me with an 8 year old's body. and I GOT TO KILL THE DAD. so if those weren't bonus points, idk what was.

okay i really wanted to post yesterday but i didn't end up writing until i was about to sleep so whoops. i really didn't want to have so many drafts this year :( but what i was saying was that i was watching a lot of thomas sanders videos yesterday. mainly joystick joyride and awkward adventures (basically anything with thomas' friends) and i stumbled across the body negativity video and i had seen it before but since i was barely getting to know thomas at the time, it didn't stick in my head that much. but it just broke my heart so much that thomas felt like that and maybe even feels that way sometimes now. i love him so much, there is so much in my life that i owe to him, i wouldn't be the person i am or have the things i do without him. and seeing him so scared that joan and talyn had to start joking about the game to just keep him from being too scared broke my heart too, that man deserves ALL THE LOVE AND RESPECT IN THE WORLD.

to segway into something else, i was watching the bestest friend tag with terrence on thomas' channel and it's from before terrence moved away last year and watching them both getting emotional over him leaving made me emotional (i get like that a lot nothing new) but then i started thinking about my friends for some reason. like how i know one wants to move more midwest, another wants to move more midtexas, i want to move more northeast (virginia), and some of my friends want to stay here and just the thought that these are literally my last three years with my friends and i'll have to say goodbye to them soon and just hope we'll stay in touch, it hurts me so much. I WAS SOBBING ABOUT LOSING THEM AND SERIOUSLY THAT WON'T HAPPEN FOR LIKE ANOTHER FEW YEARS BUT IT'S JUST SO SCARY AND SAD. so yeah i was sobbing yesterday. like i hate high school so much bc in middle school the most i'd cry over my friends for would just be either that i wasn't included or that we wouldn't see each other every day bc of summer break. but now i've lost some of my friends bc they're seniors, some have moved away, some more serious stuff and then graduation will happen and it's jut so complicated.

but heRES THE THING. when i was younger i always considered being a professional student or a teacher bc i was that scared to leave school and be an adult. the most i see myself living is until i'm like 28 maybe 30 if i wanna push it bc in your 20's you're barely starting and people don't expect much, you could still be a student, you could still be taught. i've literally dreamed of the time i could be in that gap of 15-28 and now i feel like it's moving too fast ya know?? i should get the award biggest crybaby. like even when i was little i'd sob about any of my family members dying and like no one was sick. one time my grandpa got surgery (on his foot i think) and he was fine, no struggle, and i cried bc i thought he was gonna die. (so much that i didn't finish my geometry homework :)) i'm so freaking sensitive i swear. if you like seeing people get emotional, just sit me down and make me watch a movie where a main character dies. my parents were watching extraction, i watched NONE OF IT and i still cried at the ending.

i can't wait for the percy Jackson series. imma sound so basic and fake rn but i never actually read the books. i think i read the beginning of the lightning thief and i read some of the mark of athena but of course since mark of athena doesn't come until later in the series it didn't make sense to me. basically school ruined my love for reading but thankfully since school's out i'm getting into it again. i wish i did read the whole series tho bc maybe would've been able to accept myself, my friends, and a lot of other people more quickly. but i cannot wait to have a gay disney prince man IT'S A GOOD TIME TO BE ALIVE FOR PERCY JACKSON (nothing else just the series itself)

that reminds me i watched two of these sparkshorts films (sparkshorts are animated short films made by pixar animators) and two of them are gay and adorable. one the guy's trying to come out to/keep his boyfriend secret from his parents and the other one is about these two robots who want to escape slavery together (so basically tracy from d:bh)

see who said i can't write over 1000 words? just give me a subject i like, such as myself, and i can do it :)) anyways that's all i got ig so love you, buh bye!

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