Because I Know There's No Life After You ♥Tom Felton♥

50) I Won't Give Up

Inspired Song: I have two actually, World Trade Center Piano Theme by Craig Armstrong (Which I used earlier in TDWMWTDIFFY) and I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz.

Chapter Fifty- I Won't Give Up

I stared down at the papers in front of me. They shouldn't really mean anything to me. They are just the finalization that Tom and Cassie are no more. I wished for this moment for months.  Now that it's here, I'm not sure what to make of it. Tom's signature is what throws me off. I honestly didn't think that it would be that easy with him. I figured that he would show back up at my house and beg for an explanation, like he has before. But he didn't. His signature gleams up at me, as if the ink still hasn't dried.

This was supposed to be easy. Just a signature. Nothing more than a signature and it would all be over. Then how come it's so hard to pick up the pen? Maybe it isn't that this is too hard. Maybe the problem is that it is too easy. Maybe this isn't the closure I wanted. Or maybe our relationship seems too important to the history of my life that it seems harsh that it could all be thrown away with nothing but a signature.

Maybe this isn't what I wanted.

No, of course this isn't what I wanted. I didn't want to be divorced at twenty seven. I didn't want to be divorced at all, but what choice was I left with? Living my life in complete misery, feeling as I could be replaced in an instant, and being so stressed that my mind couldn't function? No, I won't live like that. I'm stubborn enough to never let the rest of my life become so insignificant.

That is all I was to him; insignificant. He didn't care. Out of all the years I have known him, he didn't care about me. He can doubt all of that now all he wants, but I know what was going on through his mind. I wasn't unobservant, I was there, and I remember it all.

Everyone was right from the beginning. I couldn't take being sucked in to an actor's life. I just couldn't do it. Maybe if I had just listened to Taylor and Danny from the beginning I wouldn't be caught up in this web of emotions. Maybe it would have been better for everyone if I had just stayed friends with Tom, denied him my affections. Though I feel that if I had done that, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.

So how did everything go so wrong? Where was the mishap that lead to this disastrous end? Why did it all go this way? If it was meant to go this way, how come I just sit here staring at these papers questioning everything?

"Daddy's here!" Lily called as I heard her little feet thumping down the stairs eagerly. She must have seen his car pull up in the drive way.

I sighed and placed the papers back in the manila folder and pushed them to the side as I walked to the front door just as Tom knocked and Lily answered the door.

"Lily! What have I told you about answering the door?!" I scolded her as she flinched back.

"It was Daddy!" She whined, and I rolled my eyes.

"It could have been someone who wanted to hurt you Lil." I explained, almost oblivious to the fact that Tom is watching this display. Almost.

Tom laughed lightly as he bent down to Lily's level and placed his hands on her sides. "Mum's right Koala, you shouldn't answer the door, even if it is me."

Lily swayed from side to side in his hands, "Could we come up with some kind of secret knocking code?" She asked excitedly.

Tom chuckled and nodded, before telling her to go and get her things. The moment her blonde hair disappears as she rounds the corner is the precise moment that the tension fills the air.

He is dressed casually in jeans and a t-shirt with sunglasses on the top of his head. His eyes, those light pools of blue, glow disappointedly but he doesn't have bags under his eyes. Which means that he has gotten some sleep. I wish that I could say the same.