A Forgotten Crush

Lucy's Worries

The three-month ride felt twice as long this time as we had to take our time as Lucy got tired easily. The first time however when we were at the river after half a month, Lucy was back to half her energetic side.

"Milady, what are you doing?!" Lucy had followed me to the river where I was going to take a shower and panicked when she saw me undressing.

"I'm going to clean myself why?"

Perhaps it was because the time we spent together had suddenly reduced that Lucy suddenly didn't seem to know who I was anymore as she reprimanded me saying that it was alright if I wanted to clean by the river but "To open your clothes with no hesitation is not how a lady should behave. You should be modest and elegant"

I stare at Lucy as if she had grown two heads, "Elegant... Opening my clothes must also be elegant?"

Lucy nods, "You are a noble after all milady and not just any noble but a Duke's daughter. You should be elegant no matter in etiquette or manners".

Truly delusional. Lucy's idea made me furrow my brows as an unpleasant memory arise.

Before in my past life, I've already obeyed the rules and practised perfect mannerisms but in the end, they never helped much seeing how despite my 'ladylike' image, I was still labelled as a 'murderer' for trying to poison Empress Anna before.

"I am also a knight Lucy... Don't expect me to act a lady even as I kill my enemies", my tone was a cold one that Lucy must have gotten surprised as I had never been hostile against her.

"Yes... milady", Lucy lowers her head in submission and this made me sigh.

"I know you mean well Lucy but I also hope this won't happen again. Please don't be scared", Lucy truly did seem afraid of me just now so I had to ease with my tone.

Once she saw I was her gentle lady again, Lucy nods and gave me an understanding smile, "I understand milady".

Ever since then, Lucy didn't nag at me as much as she did but I could see she would frown whenever she saw me being unladylike but didn't comment anything which pleases me.

Sir Nicholas on the other hand would often spend time training Snow since he was too bored and sometimes, I would train with him. But other times, Sir Nicholas would put the other guards escorting us to work as he didn't have anything to do.

The guards were knights hired by my father personally but because Sir Nicholas was quite famous, they did not reject his offer. I could see they regretted their choice the moment they finished the training that some even gave doe-like eyes to me just to beg Sir Nicholas to stop torturing them. Sir Nicholas, being the arrogant man he was, didn't listen to my request so I could only look at the others with pity.

I think it was a month in our journey when Lucy would suddenly give weird looks to my way whenever I was spending time with Sir Nicholas.

One night, when Lucy helped me to prepare myself to sleep in a tent she suddenly looks around before whispering, "Do you like Sir Nicholas milady?"

Surprised, I stare at Lucy with wide eyes, "What makes you think this way?"

Lucy looks hesitant before saying, "Well... It's just that I can see how comfortable you were with Sir Nicholas so I thought you-"

"I don't like him", I cut through her sentence.

Ignoring my words, Lucy continues with her fantasy saying "I really thought you were in love with Prince Alexander seeing how you wish to visit him but when I saw how you and Sir Nicholas were close until he could tolerate your sharp tongue I thought you would make a good match too. Oh- there's also Crown Prince Knox, I thought you were going to be engaged to him since you have the highest status amongst the other but-"

I smiled at Lucy, "It seems that you have quite an imagination there Lucy. I wonder why you have so much time daydreaming about your lady that you can chat freely to her like this".

Lucy stops chattering and looks at me warily as if choosing her words. "I just worry about your future milady. You never seem to show an interest towards any man that even the madam asks me for some news. She worries you won't even get married until you are old".

I have married once and I don't want to experience it again. Not until I'm sure of it this time.

My expression must have changed as Lucy suddenly became quiet and sad.

"Let's not talk about this" I changed my expression to a smile.

Lucy nods.

It was after this day that I began to distance myself from Sir Nicholas. Sir Nicholas was also quite busy with training the others that he didn't seem to notice any changes until we arrived at Ethereal Empire's capital Oz.

We had settled in a famous inn where Lucy, Snow, and I stayed in one room while Sir Nicholas shared with the other guards through a rotation of duties. Most of the time, however, he would be by my side as my guardian knight and this was when he must have noticed I haven't been speaking with him much throughout the journey as he requested for a chat.

"Can I talk with you?" he asked when I was resting by the room for tea at the inn waiting for Prince Alexander's reply. "Alone?" he looked at Lucy who was grabbing Snow and staring at me, I nod.

"Are you okay?" Sir Nicholas asked as soon as she left, leaving Snow in the room.

"I am fine Sir Nicholas. Why are you asking me this question?" I drank my tea to calm my nerves.

His stare was burning a hole to my side, "I realize you haven't been speaking much lately. Do you miss your home? It hasn't been a while since we left for the first mission so it's quite common. We can go back if you want"

I shake my head, "It's nothing. I was just thinking that I should put a distance between us since they don't know our relationship as a knight and its aide properly so you should be able to go away for your mission this way".

"It would even weirder if I'm not near you. Your uncle sent me to guard you here, after all. I can just hire someone else to get the information", Sir Nicholas easily refute.

I nod, "I see. That's true. I'll keep that in mind then".

Sir Nicholas seems to be frustrated at my reply, "Now look here Jade, I told you I'm here for you so if there's any problem please don't hesitate to tell me. I can help you".

No, you can't. Instead of telling him this, however, I just smile saying "This is personal. So just ignore it."

But there was a warning look through my eyes that Sir Nicholas just became silent and bit back any response as he nods before going outside.