Can You Help Me With You?

Chapter Nineteen: Empty Head

John

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I fucked up, plain and simple. I know I have been treating Benji like the scum of the earth but I could not seem to get over my jealously.

I have always had my husband followed to make sure nothing happened to him, but then I started getting reports about this Jeffrey person.

At first, I brushed it off. There have been plenty of men and women to approach my husband but before I can ever say anything, he gladly lets them know he is spoken for.

Then the thing with Akshay happened. I know my Benji was being a good friend but my one rule is not to leave my daughter with anyone else but him or my mother.

When he walked into that office and I asked, where our baby was and the response given just made me see red.

I know he tried to fix it immediately by rushing and getting our daughter but he should have never did it in the first place.

I remember having words with Akshay and he told me when he went to my house how he could tell Benji had been crying.

I hate to see or make my baby cry but he knew the rules and ever since that night, I could feel him pulling back from me.

Therefore, it made me become even more of an asshole. I would not speak unless it was pertaining to Rebecca or sex.

I cannot excuse my behavior and I will not even try to make it make sense. All I can say is seeing my husband walk out last night was my wake up call.

I do not want to lose my family. Benji has been and will always be the one for me ever since I laid eyes on him nine years ago.

I look down at my watch, it was four in the evening and Benji had yet to come home. I cannot lie, I was getting nervous and Becca keeps asking when Daddy is coming home.

Right now, I am lying on the couch and Rebecca is curled on my chest sleep. The TV is on but I am not really paying attention, then I hear the door open.

Sitting up quickly jostled, my sleeping beauty that she did not appreciate but I just put her head on my shoulder and rubbed her back making her settled.

I rushed to the door to meet my husband, who looked like he had spent the whole night and day crying.

Our eyes met and I held out my arm not holding Becca and Benji looked at me apprehensively before running into my arms.

"Shhh baby I got you. I am sorry, I am so sorry. Please do not cry. Fuck, please do not cry baby. I'm an ass, I know."

I could feel his tears soaking my shirt and it tore at my heart. I know I had a lot of ass kissing ahead of me.

My little love never asks for much and the way I have treated him I know was going to make him go back into his shell a little bit.